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16th October, 2024

Lose the urgency:

When there’s been a lot of adrenalin and stress, the nervous system changes gears and suddenly everything begins to feel urgent. The system pumps harder, relaxing becomes impossible and sleep is broken due to subconscious hyper-vigilance. Slow it down. Breathe slowly. Walk slowly. Begin to think by talking more slowly to yourself. Activate the brake pedal and lose the urgency. It’s all ok. It all works out. Relax and just do your thing and let the universe take care of the rest. It always does.

15th October, 2024

Think well of yourself.

The essence of healthy self-belief is to hold ourselves in high regard while also knowing our flaws. It’s not either/or, it’s both and. Some people are grandiose, seeing themselves above others. Some only see their flaws and feel less than. The balance lies in the middle; we are human and imperfect and awesome no matter what. Keep the healthy balance today and think well of yourself!

14th October, 2024

Be open and curious!

The practices of openness and curiosity are good for the soul. Being open means being accepting, willing and able to see, hear or do whatever, within the context of our values and ethics. Being curious means being interested, wanting to know, see, hear or do, while also being accepting of how it unfolds. Those traits help keep us young, and zen, and joyful. They rid us of expectations, rigidity, stubbornness and pessimism. They also constitute a good antidote to boredom or monotony. Remind yourself today: be open, be curious. It’s good for the body and the mind.

11th October, 2024

Calm heart installation:

Listen now, your eyes like a laser pointer on my words, as I talk to you, here, and there where you are, and your subconscious mind can listen closely, as you relax now, breathing slowly in, heart calm, and holding, and now letting go, releasing all tension with the out-breath, that’s right, feel your body softening, letting go all the pent-up junk, all the stuff, all the gunk, all the unwanted mess, as your heart starts to ease, becoming much more relaxed, more balanced, happy, smiling heart, all sensations very pleasant, very comfortable, minding its own business, doing its thing, we relax, we surrender to the flow of good, we remain in this positive, calm, relaxed, smiling heart as we move forward. Enjoy.

10th October, 2024

On rudeness:

One-off rudeness is probably a symptom of stress. Many of us can become a little more impatient and a little less aware when we are overloaded. However, when rudeness is a consistent pattern, it can be due to lack of social skills and self-awareness, often combined with a degree of self-importance and entitlement. Self-importance is never great. It leads to grandiosity and is always judgment-impairing. This trait can be both hereditary, learned and enabled. Either way it’s always about the person who’s being rude. Nothing to do with the recipient in most cases. It’s not personal. Most things aren’t. But beware of self-importance and grandiosity in people: it usually leads to trouble and drama. Glide by and hang with the appropriately humble gang.

9th October, 2024

Reminder of temporary:

This difficulty is temporary. It will pass, probably without you having to do much at all. Sometimes the best action is no action. Either way it will be clear what needs to be done (or not done). Be calm, be still and just be.

8th October, 2024

The neutral narrator:

We all narrate our lives, including commentary on past, present and future. The first thoughts are usually automatic; we don’t choose to think them, they just bubble up straight from the unconscious and appear in our mind. While we don’t have a choice in that part, we do have a choice about the second part. We are the narrator. Once the first auto thought has bubbled up, we can label it as just a thought or even an intrusive or unhelpful thought. If it’s a good-feeling thought, leave it alone or build on it. If not, label it as such and decide to move on. Only build on good-feeling thoughts. If it’s not great then the narrator calls excess baggage and the thought can be neutrally discarded. Only keep the good stuff today!

7th October, 2024

Power move:

It’s time to stand in your power. Hold yourself in a strong positive physiology and remember that you are a force to be reckoned with! Be bold, be badass, be kickass. You’ve got this.

4th October, 2024

To calm you:

You know, and I know too, that more calm is needed, both inside and outside, one affects the other, all integrated, it’s all one; so breathe in now, easily, loosely, comfortably holding, and now let it go, breathing out all tension, exiting all stress, that’s right, nothing bothers you, nothing disturbs you now, you relax, you let go, and all parts of the system now continue to generate calm; as you breathe, the deeper you go, the better you feel, much more calm energy for the day, you will, better and better with each powerful breath. And so it is.

3rd October, 2024

Repeat after me:

I’m willing to see the perfection in this and I choose peace. Say it again. Just be willing.

2nd October, 2024

Internal complaining:

Many people (not all) have mastered the art of not complaining endlessly out loud to others. We don’t want to be a “downer” so we manage the narrative to sound balanced. But. What about the inner narrative?? Is it balanced so as not to be a “downer”??? It’s important to be aware and honest about what we feel and it’s important to maintain a balanced perspective in order to feel good. Monitor internal complaining and make sure the inner commentary is calm and balanced so that you feel calm and balanced.

1st October, 2024

Harmony heals.

When we are bothered by something, all we can feel is trouble and conflict. But if we allow a perspective of harmony to take over, we receive an elevated viewpoint and we can know that the situation is resolving itself in some way, perhaps more easily than we can perceive. Harmony out there, harmony in here. Be with the harmony today and let it resolve things for you.

30th September, 2024

Mindset check:

Before we take flight we check instruments, and you know that the most important instrument for doing well is a helpful mindset. The helpful mindset focuses only on what is required, while also being aware of all the positive aspects of the day. Just show up, do what you need to do and keep a positive attitude. Check your instruments all day to stay centred on what matters and what to enjoy.

26th September, 2024

On intelligence:

I’ve noticed many people either questioning their intelligence or using “academic” standards to judge their own intelligence. Of course there are many definitions but intelligence is really about being aware, resourceful and adaptable. It’s about awareness of what is going on and what is required, it’s being resourceful about finding information, solutions or assistance in any form, and it’s about adapting either self or environment in order to meet the needs of the situation. It’s got nothing to do with scores on tests or marks at school. Integrate that intelligence into your self-concept today.

25th September, 2024

Regrets?

Whatever happened is the only thing that could have happened, given all the context, history and circumstances. Stuff is complicated. Let it be what it was. Today is always a new day.

24th September, 2024

Do less.

Sometimes the best action is no action. Let it be what it is.

23rd September, 2024

Keep your heart calm!

If you monitor heart rate, it’s easy to see how the slings and arrows of the day can send the heart into full pump quite easily. Counteract that with parasympathetic processes. Take a few slow deep breaths. Do a physiological audible sigh. Do 4 7 8 breathing. Say “happy smiling heart” and notice the relaxing effect of that. Above all, keep it chill today

19th September, 2024

Expectations?

Whether it’s our own expectations of ourselves, our expectations of others, or others’ expectations of us, when the balance isn’t right, there will be inner (and maybe outer) conflict. For more inner peace and harmony, please pause and consider all the expectations in the situation at hand. Moderate the expectations. More expectations can mean more anxiety, distress and sometimes resentment. We can have preferred options of course, but the feeling of a preferred option is different from an expectation. Note the difference and zen out today.

18th September, 2024

Slow it.

Slow down. Breathe. Take a moment. Give thanks for the moment. Remind yourself of 3 great things about you or your life or anything at all. Take those great things with you today. And breathe.

17th September, 2024

Instructions from your coach:

The instructions will come to you. The questions are first: how do you want to feel, given current circumstances? What do you need to think and do differently in order to meet your intended state? What do you need to stop doing or do less of? What have you done in the past that might help? Who else can you speak to or get support from? What mantra do you need to loop in mind to help you stay focused? Well, those are your coach’s instructions. Get out there and do it! You’ve totally got this! Go team!

16th September, 2024

Excitement and fun!

Sometimes we forget about excitement and fun in the midst of adulting. Put excitement and fun front and centre today: it’s a state of mind and you’ll find it if you have intention and awareness. Look for opportunities amongst the small stuff and keep excitement and fun on the agenda.

13th September, 2024

Create in mind:

Imagine, for a moment, that by relaxing, by opening your mind, and following my helpful instructions, that you can enhance that inner intelligence, that powerful creative part of the mind that sees, and hears, and knows what doesn’t even exist yet, full of ideas and possibilities, so relax deeply right now, breathing in clear calm, and holding, now breathing out any and all tensions, any resistance now exits the system, nothing bothers you now, nothing disturbs you, you clear all the channels, all blockages released, and now the inner creativity, the intelligence, the key information comes flowing through just like a clear river of yes, rushing to all the places in your system that need input, never too much, just the right intelligence at the right time, always. Breathe in and feel the clear calm to keep the flow of intelligent creativity circulating today.

12th September, 2024

Remember: release tension

We carry so much tension that we are unaware of. Several times a day, just check in: relax your jaw, just let it hang loose. Relax your neck and shoulder muscles, let them go soft. Relax your hands. No holding on tight. Relax your chest and stomach. Take a breath and release with a physiological sigh. Relax your legs, especially back of thigh. And relax the feet. They carry a load and need time to rejuvenate. Breathe out all tension and allow the bubbles of joy to take its place bit by bit. With calm joy, anything is possible.

11th September, 2024

Need a reminder??

We all need reminders. Mostly we need reminders to take the mind away from constant problem “solving” or mind reading or comparison thoughts. Reminders to notice what is going well, to note who we like and appreciate, to take in all the great and beautiful stuff in the world, and how nature makes things in a perfect way and that aspects of nature are not constantly comparing themselves to other parts of nature and feeling not as good as they used to be or not as good as others. Nature just is. And we are part of nature. Perfect as is and looked after by virtue of being part of the whole. All is well.

10th September, 2024

Listen to inner guidance!

Call it intel, call it intuition, call it a sense of just knowing, but don’t ignore or override. We get these messages and they function as insight, as signals to wait, to stop and to go. Please watch and listen.

9th September, 2024

Note this down: today is great!

Please write it down and keep reminding yourself. It’s a great day. Over the next few hours, there will be further evidence that today is great. Your day improves as you look for that evidence! Good things are already happening. Please make sure to notice and record the greatness.

6th September, 2024

Software upgrade for today:

As you read this, you may may notice yourself becoming very curious about your mind body needing software upgrades, so listen now, and begin to slowly breathe in, getting ready, holding it, and now, breathing out all resistance, and in, clearing the space, and now out, exiting any excess, that’s right, like defrag, just keeping what is needed, letting go any excess to requirements here, as you relax, you go deeper, ready now for upgrade, and I want you now in your mind’s eye to click on YES, and the upgrade begins to install itself, moving to 10%, you feel more and more calm, 20%, you feel clear in mind, 30%, you feel increasingly sharp in thought, 40%, your emotions are balanced, 50%, your body is comfortable, 70%, your energy builds nicely, 90%, you are ready and focused, and now, 100%, completion has finalised, you are uplifted and levelled up ready for action. Feel the extra power and use it well.

5th September, 2024

You got a perfect score!

The thing you did, you got a perfect score! It may have seemed like something small but it may have more positive consequences than you know. Perfect score for you! Take credit and take the win. Collect the wins! Any win or miracle is great. Take it and enjoy!

4th September, 2024

Repeat after me:

Things are always working out for me. The universe has my back and I am taken care of. Repeat often and with feeling. You know it’s true.

3rd September, 2024

Write this down and repeat daily:

I’m always in the right place at the right time with the right people doing the right action. You can shorten it to RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT PEOPLE, RIGHT TIME, RIGHT ACTION. Feels better when we know that. Take charge of the self-fulfilling prophecies and affirm certainty about the good stuff.

2nd September, 2024

Path to peace!

Wherever you’re going, please remind yourself to choose the path to peace. With any choice, think about the inner peace of the present and the future, and it will probably be the right decision. And we can move along that pathway with a mindset of inner peace as well. Peace is both the journey and the destination. Keep on choosing peace today.

29th August, 2024

How about you??

You’re feeling responsible for so many things and so many people. So much to do, so many people to please. And how about you though? Are you caring for yourself? What do you need more of? Less of? Which demands do you need to back away from? Which pleasures do you need to move towards? Walk through the open doors and go where the love is today. You are awesome and all choices should reflect that truth.

28th August, 2024

Why we have trouble changing habits:

If you’ve been trying to start something you think is good for you, or stop something you feel is bad for you, you’ll know that it can be more difficult than expected. This is because imagination always trumps willpower. Whatever we consciously and subconsciously believe about the thing we want to start or stop in terms of the pleasure or pain we will lose or gain will determine how it goes. When making a change, be truly honest about the pleasure in doing vs not doing, as well as the pain of doing vs not doing. The new behaviors or actions need to be authentically linked with reducing pain and gaining pleasure. If things are stuck, then there’s a mismatch in what you feel will be the pleasure/pain consequences. Once our mind and imagination are aligned, change becomes more natural. Our subconscious beliefs about pleasure and pain trigger our decisions so let’s be conscious about it.

27th August, 2024

World-awfulness mood effects?

Many people have spoken of being very affected by goings on in the world, often to the point of feeling sad, hopeless or despairing. In the past, it was easier to avoid; just don’t watch the news or buy newspapers. Now, it’s impossible to avoid if you own a phone or “smart” device. The Germans have a word for it: “Weltschmerz”, which translates to “world pain”, a feeling of exhaustion or upset about world affairs as well as fear for the future. Weltschmerz is mainly felt by optimists and idealists who see the world as it could be, who long for something peaceful, cooperative and productive. If we experience Weltschmerz, we need to know it’s because we care, a lot. And we need to protect our sensitivity by reducing and limiting world input, by switching off and not immersing ourselves in news. We probably need to spend more time in nature and beauty to ground ourselves. And perhaps we need to feel we are doing something that helps the world be a better place in a small way. Being friendly to a stranger, creating art, providing assistance to somebody; there are many ways to improve the world at a micro level. And micro leads to macro. Be aware of Weltzschmerz and be aware of managing and antidoting it. The triggers are real, and so are the balancing actions.

26th August, 2024

Magician, enthuse thyself!

When it comes to our own minds, we are the magicians. We can of course leave inner states just as they are, or when required, we can perform some magic to turn straw into gold. One of the straw to gold processes is generating enthusiasm from a state of neutrality or lower. As a magician, we use what we have. No need for coins or rabbits (unless you have them, then, why not?!) But we can use the ingredients of sunshine, music, nature, appreciative thoughts, love, ideas and the chemistry of other people or personalities. To be enthused is a state of energy and possibility. Take what you need here, generate using all your powers, and enthuse yourself now. May it fuel your day with curiosity and enjoyment.

23rd August, 2024

Re-balance:

You know, and I know too, that there have been certain elements lately, various elements that are sitting out of balance, so listen now, breathing slowly in, then holding, and now releasing, breathing slowly out, as all the bothersome elements leave your system, any thoughts or feelings or memories you no longer need, just letting them fade and dissolve, that’s right, and the spotlight moves to what truly matters, you, and the balance in your life, things begin to shift around, all true priorities highlighted in bright yellow, you can’t miss it, and it’s easy, natural, you can just comfortably move towards those things now, no rush, no hurry or worry, just moving towards where the arrow points. You will arrive soon. Enjoy.

22nd August, 2024

Don’t go back in time!

Unless it’s a good memory that brings good feelings, it’s best to stay away from time travel. Many people romanticise the past and overrate their past selves, leading to a miserable contrast effect in the here and now. We can enjoy memories of the past for sure. But if it causes pain or a hankering for “what was” (or at least our idealised version of it) then it’s probably not helpful. Be in the now and look towards the future. The past has no possibilities, it’s over and done with and we can enjoy the sweet nostalgia if we like it. But for productive and optimism purposes, the now and the future is where it’s at. So if you’re dwelling on unhelpful past romanticisation remember that movie and remember that line: “we need to go back to the future!”

21th August, 2024

Anti procrast plan:

Procrastination isn’t fun, isn’t comfortable, isn’t pleasant. It’s a weird anxious avoidance splashed with guilt and false promises and empty reassurance. The only antidote is a solid plan. A plan of when to start, a plan of how to start, a plan to make it bearable, a plan to get it done. Usually we procrastinate on things we don’t really enjoy. Firstly we need to neutralise the task. It’s neither good nor bad, it’s just a task to be done. We also must stop feeding the avoidance urge with negative whinging inner talk. “This sucks, this is stupid, I hate this, why do I have to do it anyway”, “I can’t do this”, “it’s too much”, “I’m not in the right headspace”, “I’m better off doing it when I feel better tomorrow”. Blah blah blah. We’ve all heard it, we’ve all said it. And that’s ok if it doesn’t bother you or affect your life. But if it bothers you, make a plan to be neutral, stop the inner complaining, add music or people or a buddy accountability system (even if your buddy is doing a different task) and decide to get it done without inner commentary. Just a task to be completed. Break it into chunks if needed, by time or by section. It really isn’t that bad, whatever it is. The pattern is fueled by inner negativity and resentment of the task combined with avoidance of it until time makes it more unbearable not to do the thing. Thoughts and emotions can be managed. Your choice really.

20th August, 2024

We can’t please everyone.

People have opinions. These opinions are based on THEIR psychology, on THEIR personal history, on THEIR experience and THEIR internalised rules for THEIR life. It really has nothing to do with you. There are those who enjoy criticising, controlling and judging. Nothing to do with you. Or, maybe whatever you’re about just isn’t their cup of tea. Nothing personal. If our expectation is broad and complete approval then we need to water down the recipe to some boring beige thing that nobody will feel anything about. We just don’t need to please everyone. Just do you and those who get it will get it. That’s enough.

19th August, 2024

The power of positive expectancy:

Positive expectancy is a great feeling. It feels hopeful, a sense of anticipating things going well and hitting the mark. The only issue with positive expectancy is when we apply it to uncontrollable events and (always uncontrollable) people. Our positive expectancy needs to be connected to our skills, our talents, our ability to manage events or relational ups and downs, our ability to make the best in any situation, our ability to be strong when needed and express emotions when needed. You have every reason to feel positive expectancy regarding all the things you can feel, think and do. It’s all a choice and you have every right to self-efficacy. Expect the best from yourself today!

15th August, 2024

Sensory overload awareness:

For those of us who are sensitive and/or neurodivergent, sensory overload is a real thing. It could be noise, people, odors (whether perfumes or outdoor fumes), visual stimuli, excessive device viewing, TV or other background noise or just too much of everything together. The result can be brain fog, exhaustion, physical pain, panic, lack of focus, headaches, emotional distress, irritation or some other kind of meltdown. The key is awareness. We need to know that we are sensitive to overload, to try our best to prevent it where possible (knowing the strongest triggers) and to set ourselves up with exit and recovery methods without self-judgement. Recovery starts with reduction or removal of triggers, quiet and/or alone time, and plenty of self-care and compassion. The world can be loud and fast. Make sure you build in as many sensory breaks as you need.

14th August, 2024

Pull the pin on worry:

Worriers subconsciously trust their worrying as a means of preventing danger or unwanted events. For many people, worry equals love and if we don’t worry, it means we don’t care. Worry is thought to be a problem solving method (it isn’t) and a motivator (it occasionally can be, but not a fun one). Accurate problem solving can replace the worry pattern over time. It means getting a clear statement of the problem that exists right now (often there isn’t one) and division of what is controllable and not controllable (if it’s about events or others we may not have much control). Then it’s about identifying the best course of action to address the parts we do have control over, including what we might do if a worst case scenario occurs. Beyond this, mind distraction methods are more effective than going over and over fears in the mind or verbally. Be aware of how much worry thoughts circulate and begin to redirect them towards active and factual problem solving. And if there’s nothing you can do then keep the mind focused on sending peace, love and healing to all involved.

13th August, 2024

Exhaustion tolls:

Exhaustion takes toll collections in many areas of life. Exhaustion leads to a payment in energy, motivation, good cheer, sleep, comfort and calm. The emotions are depleted and the body is depleted. Often the body will produce pain due to depleted cortisol (our natural pain relief and anti inflammatory chemicals) which, combined with the awful tiredness, is even harder to cope with. Check sources of exhaustion (physical, emotional, existential, social, external and anything else) and do what you can to create balance. We can’t control everything but there are some crashes we can probably prevent or minimise. Take stock today and note where you might need to make different choices.

12th August, 2024

You’re in charge!!

You’re in charge of your approach today. You’re in charge of what you choose to focus on and how you decide to interpret that. You’re in charge of what to hold on to and what to let go. You’re in charge of what action to take or not take. You’re in the driver’s seat. Things will happen around you, events and other people will do what they do. And you’re in charge of only you and your response. Ground yourself with the reminder “I’m in charge here” and do what you need to do for your energy and inner peace today.

8th August, 2024

Avoiding tricky conversations?

There has been a noticeable increase in people avoiding conversations that might feel uncomfortable. People often protect their own comfort levels and fear upsetting or angering the other person as well so it can just seem too hard. We know with some people there is no point having the conversation or perhaps even too dangerous. But since social media and/or smart phones, somehow many people have found a method to easily avoid things. Ghosting has become more common, not just in dating but even in jobs and friendships. Not replying to messages and just disappearing is not uncommon now. Even workplace feedback as part of a developmental process is being watered down to avoid potential trouble. In some instances staff are just being frozen out or quietly not given shifts instead of getting feedback that might actually be a catalyst for workplace behavior change. Sometimes we need to have that uncomfortable conversation even if it’s hard, even if the other person might disagree. It’s a part of the adult communication skillset. Let’s all be willing to talk about it, whatever it is.

7th August, 2024

Be careful what you say!

Most of us have a fair bit of chatter going on in the mind, directed at ourselves, other people and events, future and past. What you say in there is powerful. No need to be super-positive if you’re not feeling it but to chatter in super-negative or critical ways is harmful to both mood and cognitive expectations. Keep it neutral or above neutral. If the best you can do is “I’m ok” or “it’s ok” then that can be a big achievement. Be very aware of the “it’s ok” effect and notice how it assists with balanced nervous system and brain cognitive pathways. Training the brain for a little equanimity is a helpful thing. Let it be ok today.

6th August, 2024

People-pleasing?

There are a lot of factors behind the urge to people-please. Firstly personality; agreeableness is a stable personality trait that means we prefer to say yes if possible rather than going against the grain. Secondly, if we grew up in an environment that didn’t meet our emotional needs, we tend to feel more familiarity with situations or people where their needs can be (or need to be) put first. Thirdly we have to have the cognitive ability to clearly assess the situation in the moment and be able to discern what is happening and what to say/do. Often it’s ok to people-please in the moment as long as we pause to factor in what we want/need as well. We need to create win/win relationships and mostly we can when people are emotionally mature. It’s a matter of balance and pausing to think. Check the balance today.

5th August, 2024

Just when you think:

Just when you think you know, more information comes in. Just when you think it won’t work, the tide turns. Just when you think it’s all the same, a wonderful surprise comes. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, a new idea can excite and inspire. We never know, and it’s usually better than we think. Remember to make room for the good yet to come.

1st August, 2024

Obsession vs attention:

Obsession is an inside job, with the focus of the mind looping about on some thought or fear. Attention is different, it’s the ability to take the focus of your mind and direct it outwardly to a person, place or thing. The better our skill at moderating attention, the more adept we become at emotional regulation. When there is an unhelpful inner loop, recognise it for the obsession that it is and keep moving the mind’s attention back (over and over) to something useful and external. The laser pointer is in your hands.

31st July, 2024

Just choose peace.

Whatever it is, let it go through your mind then add “and I choose peace”. We can have anything at all going on, and still choose peace. It’s not either/or, it’s both/and. Be willing to choose peace today.

30th July, 2024

Hamster wheel anhedonia?

Sometimes life can get a get a bit samey, as if you’re running on the spot or on the hamster wheel staring at the same outlook each day. They call this anhedonia, which means not feeling pleasure from things that used to feel good. Sometimes it’s seasonal, sometimes it’s too much prolonged stress, and at other times the brain is just tired. If it goes on longer than a while it can feel like depression and probably needs professional advice. But for the short-term hamster wheel vibes, make something happen. Change the scenery, or the soundtrack, or the narrative. It’s not the same unless we look for sameness. Every day is a new day, and it always will be, and nothing will ever be exactly the same. Go looking for the differences and the small pleasures today.

29th July, 2024

Dynamo vibes today!

You are the dynamo. You are a unique expression of the creative force. No matter how you feel today, your essence is of great benefit and it’s enough just to be, you don’t have to do anything. Just bring your dynamo and its essence and let it chemically interact with everything else for maximum benefit for all.

26th July, 2024

Cementing good patterns:

You will have noticed, and I’ve noticed too, that there are some very helpful patterns lately, things you’ve done, and stopped doing, habits, practices and general ways of looking at you, the world, the future, plenty of room for optimism now, so relax here, breathing in slowly, deeply, and holding, and out, deeper breaths, the deeper you go, the better you feel, and the better you feel, the deeper you go, and you take credit, good things happening, new patterns of thinking and being, your subconscious mind knows exactly, continuing to breathe deeply, and your conscious mind can know that all it has to do is focus on the intention of doing what truly matters, and to move towards what feels good as well as right for you, good things happening now, faster and more, you will, staying on your chosen path and getting to places on your chosen map, you are, so be pleased with yourself, you are doing it and it all belongs to you. Stay with the force today.

25th July, 2024

Inspire yourself!

Even though there are times when humans are going through the motions of survival mode, we can always kick it up a notch with a splash of inspiration. It’s for our own benefit; it feels better when it feels better! So uplift the language, bang on the music, get out and move, hang with an excitable friend and remember to enthuse yourself today! Take the power and use it well.

24th July, 2024

We’re humans. It’s mostly good.

Amidst the widespread perfectionism messages, it’s super important to remind ourselves that we are human creatures. Being human means we’re great at some things and not so great at some things. It means we have days when we’re on fire and days when it’s all foggy up there. It means not everything will come up roses the first time, or perhaps even the second time. Repeat when necessary: Human is fine. We’re all in it together.

23rd July, 2024

It’s good enough!

Please stop with any perfectionism and made-up idealism. Whether it’s you, your life, your behavior, emotions, appearance, job, relationship, friendships, parenting, family interactions or leisure pursuits, the same rule applies: A good enough anything (and everything) is perfectly fine, or maybe even imperfectly fine, which is quite good enough. Everything you look at or think about today, remember it’s all good enough, possibly better, and definitely fine. In fact, it’s all good. Remember to notice. And again. And again.

22nd July, 2024

Listen!

It’s so easy to focus inwards, noticing the constant chatter of the mind. Our responses, our opinions, our suggestions or judgements. Sometimes though, it’s great to choose an outward focus. We can choose to watch and listen without forming opinions and let our subconscious do all the necessary work for us via our deepest values in tandem with our intuition. Let your mind rest today, watching and listening without judgement. Trust that right action will occur at the right time and maybe you won’t have to do anything at all to make it happen. Just be a wise observer today.

19th July, 2024

Brain tired?

There are times, sometimes long times, where the brain has to work very hard, carrying many puzzle pieces and mysteries, many concerns lying in piles in the background, perhaps moving in and out of foreground, so listen now, with your subconscious mind, breathing in very slowly, and holding it, and now exhale, slowly, letting all that cranked up control go, dialling back the holding on, just allowing the stuff, or it is it just stuffing, to relax, to flatten, to dissolve, it’s all ok anyway, it’s being packed up, your brain can let it go into archive now, moving all the pieces out in to long term storage, freeing up so much brain space, that’s right, it’s all moved far away now, safe, accessible when and if needed, and now you have all those gigabytes freed up, you will begin to notice much faster and smoother transmission in the mind and all systems starting right now. Stay freed up today and enjoy your improved performance.

18th July, 2024

The power of the “I don’t know”:

Humans spend their lives making up stories. Stories about what they should or shouldn’t have done, the one different decision that would have improved everything, how others are doing better, or worse, how everyone else copes easily, or doesn’t, blaming the self or others for “why” things happened. When the rumination spiral begins, a most useful go-to reminder is “I don’t know”. In other words, to stop mind reading or fortune telling or deciding we think we understand the whole picture of anything. We don’t. When it comes to the past, the future and other people (including world events and politics) there is so much we don’t know, and remembering this can help neutralise our narrative and stop the ruminating. It also keeps us in humility. There is truly so much we don’t know. And that’s ok. It’s quite reassuring not to have to know everything. Be happy in the “I don’t know” state as required today.

17th July, 2024

Beware of the “nice” trap!

Being “nice” often means we are acting from programming rather than from conscious choice. It’s often more effective to remember to be ethical, be kind, be considered, take a pause, take advice, but beware of falling prey to the “nice” fallacy. Kind and nice are not the same. Thinking about what motivates our choices helps us move towards a win-win rather than automatic people-pleasing and keeping the peace at your own peril. Stop and check true motivations before the “nice” autopilot takes charge.

16th July, 2024

Emotion awareness:

The key to managing overall stability is being aware of emotions early. Many people ignore or suppress emotions, and it’s never been easier to find distractions from what we don’t want to let ourselves feel. And then, when our defences are down, we get stressed, we get tired, we drink too much or get sick, the emotions amplify and become less manageable. If emotions are big, they tend to pile up and we are more likely to act out in a way we don’t like. We can notice daily emotions by deciding to be more aware, by actively doing regular emotional scans. If we don’t know what to look for we can get an emotion list or a mood questionnaire online as a guide. The main emotions are fear, pain, anger, shame, guilt, joy and love. Most other emotions are subsets of those. Notice, validate, observe, but don’t judge them; link to triggers if you think it helps. But listen and be guided. Awareness and understanding of our feelings is the key to equilibrium.

15th July, 2024

Step back.

Take a step back from all concerns. Remember that things work out well for you and that trying to control the uncontrollable is impossible as well as unnecessary. The universe always has your best interests in mind. Take a step back, imagining how you’d feel if you knew it was all working out for the best and everything was ok and you can just cruise. Hold on to that feeling because despite how it might look or feel, it really is ok and it is working out for the best. Go easy today.

12th July, 2024

Minor system reboot.

If things have been a little hard, or maybe even a lot hard, or a bit meh, or maybe even quite flat, then you know, and I know too, that we can easily reboot the part of your system that needs a shift, so listen now, breathing, just breathe, in, and hold it, now out slowly, easily, as you let go all the tension, all the pressure, all the concern and worry, just letting it go now, letting it dissolve into a clear puff of nothing, and we can move down the hallway, noticing how warm and well-lit that hallway is, and go over to the power switch, the master panel, and put your right hand on the reset switch, noting its colour and design, and now on my count of three I want you to push the reset switch and your system will know exactly which elements to reboot and restart; one, two, three, now activate that button now, that’s right, and your system is aware, and alive, processes are reset and warming up now, everything regrouping and improving in functionality for you now, the process has been completed, ready to do or not do what ever is required for your joy and peace today. Go forward knowing you have improved speed and efficiency in all things. Enjoy.

11th July, 2024

Forgive yourself!

Whatever you did, whatever you didn’t do, or know, or realise, or finish, or start, or like, or stop earlier or mind-read in others, it’s time to forgive yourself. You did the best you could with the resources you had at the time and we humans just don’t have crystal balls and we are not omniscient. Forgive yourself in the way that you forgive others for not being perfect. To be human is ok. Learn what you need to learn and be willing to see the bigger perspective in it all. It’s ok. You’re ok.

10th July, 2024

Start with the end in mind!

What would you like to be saying in the near future about this moment right now? When you’re reflecting back on today later, would you like to be noting certain emotional states, achievements, some tasks completed? Imagine what you’d say to others about this enjoyable, successful day and let those imagined conversations drift through your mind as though success has already occurred. And you can know too, that it has already begun.

9th July, 2024

There’s always a way.

Whatever it is: there is always a way forward. Always a way out. Always a new day. Always a fresh perspective on things. Always something to change focus. Always something that will improve things. Keep looking to find your thing.

8th July, 2024

The appreciator:

The appreciator appreciates. Appreciation is both internal and external. Internal appreciation is noticing, seeing, remembering and consciously taking in the good. The external element is complimenting, thanking, commenting on positive aspects and joining in with enthusiasm. Of course it needs to be authentic and we can always find things to authentically appreciate. Remember to notice today, and remember to say so, both to yourself and to others. Appreciation breeds inner peace, joy and connection.

5th July, 2024

Turn up the joy?

You know, and I know too, that we have many buttons and dials in the control room of the mind, and, if we release some tension and stress, we can activate, and deactivate, and re-adjust any mechanism we need to, so pause now, in the mind, breathing slowly in, holding, and now breathe out, easily, feeling stronger now, that’s right, now in your mind’s eye, you can smoothly enter the control room, it’s bright and warm in there, now move to the JOY panel, it stands out brightly in the control panel, and now turn the JOY dial up higher, not too high, just a much more balanced, more comfortable JOY level, up a tad more, and you know, turning up JOY means other things get turned down automatically, because JOY overrides those other stress-type feelings, JOY is a master controller of the best kind, so keep adjusting your JOY dial today, keep it up high, and notice things that would normally escape you, they become yours, you embrace it more, you achieve more. EnJOY your day.

4th July, 2024

Live and let live!

Live and let live is a great mantra when we observe the “unusual” or “different” choices of other people (as long as they are doing no harm). But how well do we apply live and let live to ourselves? The phrase implies we can let ourselves live freely too, along with everyone else. And yet I often notice many people judging themselves rather harshly and questioning their own quirks or choices without a lot of self-acceptance. Next time you have a moment of snap judgment with yourself, I want you to hear my words reminding you, hey, how about just live and let live?! Allowing ourselves the freedom we allow others is liberating and uplifting. Enjoy your freedom today!

4th July, 2024

Live and let live!

Live and let live is a great mantra when we observe the “unusual” or “different” choices of other people (as long as they are doing no harm). But how well do we apply live and let live to ourselves? The phrase implies we can let ourselves live freely too, along with everyone else. And yet I often notice many people judging themselves rather harshly and questioning their own quirks or choices without a lot of self-acceptance. Next time you have a moment of snap judgment with yourself, I want you to hear my words reminding you, hey, how about just live and let live?! Allowing ourselves the freedom we allow others is liberating and uplifting. Enjoy your freedom today!

3rd July, 2024

Upbeat chemistry:

How can you send your chemistry into a little bit of upbeat today? Do you need to go outside more? Listen to some upbeat music? Keep your inner narrative a bit joyful or appreciative? Be around some happy people? Read or watch something funny? Upbeat is good for the soul when it’s real. Find a way to upbeat it a little today.

2nd July, 2024

Reducing cognitive load:

How many things are you carrying around in your head? A large cognitive load is one of the most tiring factors for humans. The pressure of having to hold awareness and vigilance over a range of concerns is a lot to carry, especially when a lot of it is most likely out of your control. Tap into your current cognitive load. Would you say it’s bigger than it needs to be? Consciously choose priorities by writing down all concerns. Notice which concerns you have any control over and as such, what is your action plan? Worrying isn’t a plan. We need to delineate where we can have an impact and how. A lot of the responsibility probably falls with others and despite our concerns, it’s really up to them. Focus only on one or two priorities that land within your actual circle of influence today. May your load be light.

1st July, 2024

Vibe check!

Time to check your vibe. Head up, eyes up, inner smile and upright posture. What’s your code word for today? The focus is inner peace and outer calm and just doing what you need to do. No pressure, no expectations. May today be chill.

28th June, 2024

Out of a funk:

I was just noticing, and you know it’s good to notice, just how many of us get a little funky at this time of year, so listen now, as I speak directly to your subconscious mind, and you can go inside, breathing, slowly in, and holding, and even more slowly out, letting go, releasing all resistance, all tension, all demand, listening, as you go in, noticing any elements of funk, or junk, or gunk, anything no longer needed, just letting all the mess clear away, dissolving into the nothingness it came from, and gradually, slowly, you sense the space, the clarity, the edge returning, the ability to choose, to know that it’s ok to hibernate a little, and you can still choose enjoyment, choose activity, choose fun, choose joy, new ways of finding joy for you now, and you will keep thinking of new things, automatically, without effort or strain, easily and successfully now, right thoughts, right choices, right action, you will. Enjoy.

27th June, 2024

Your brain on pain:

Pain means stress. Pain means tension. We know pain triggers stress chemicals and physical tension, just as stress and tension can trigger pain. The biggest source of stress and tension is usually people, especially situations where we perceive unfairness, confusion, mistreatment or frustration. Some human problems are difficult (or impossible) to solve, and our brains don’t like that. We want harmony, we want peace, we want to be seen and validated for who we are. Start with validating the self, and restoring inner harmony. When pain is there, ask for emotional clues. If there was an unsolved human situation causing tension or frustration or stress, who would it be? How can you reframe or accept the imperfection of this ambivalent relationship? Check in with your responses and emotions today and validate any tense moments. Your brain needs to know you’re listening to any distress signals.

26th June, 2024

The rigid mind:

Our mind is limited by rigidity in any form. When we can be open, flexible, accepting of perspective and possibilities then we are in the best position to take wise action. Rigid mind can be expressed by sticking to one opinion, or insisting an opinion is right or factual even though it’s just an opinion, or arguing for one’s limitations and why things can’t be done or can’t be changed. It’s hard to have a discussion with a rigid person; their beliefs are rock solid and the mind may not be open to new content. Being open is what keeps us connected with youthfulness and freedom. There’s always a new idea and there’s always a new or more helpful way of looking at things. We know by the feeling. When we land on another possibility it feels better emotionally. Beware of mind rigidity today and stay open to reframes and other narrative options. It’s always bigger than we think.

25th June, 2024

Reminder for you:

Be kind and supportive to yourself today. Speak kindly, be patient, be accepting and don’t compare yourself to a story you made up about others, or to a story you made up about your past self. Today’s you is great. Today’s you gets credit and praise.

24th June, 2024

Your energy lift:

Your energy lift starts with the mind. No matter how we wake up feeling, and whatever happens in the day, we can start with the thought “I’m willing to lift my energy”. We can repeat that mantra, along with “my energy is beginning to lift now”, as we pair that possibility with physiological helpers: head up, eyes up, face resolute or determined, body straight, moving forward into action mode. Think energy, notice it building up, feel your optimism tank filling and decide to have a better and more energised day. May the force be with you.

21st June, 2024

All is well.

Pause here a moment, slowing now, and listen to my voice as you repeat after me, all is well, and it is well, and it gets better, moment by moment, day by day, and now, as I talk to you, breathing slowly in, and holding, and now breathing out, slower still, that’s right, releasing all the tension, all the gunk, all the leftover blah, just letting it go, it dissolves into the air, into the nothingness it came from, leaving you calm, helping you clear, allowing space for your energy to build, and build, and generate more energy, you will, good things happening, your system listening to me, and this small software update improves your clarity, your calm, your energy now, all cells listening and upgrading, and your better day begins. Enjoy.

20th June, 2024

Opinions and judgements:

At times it’s a shock to hear just how opinionated and judgmental people are prepared to be. It’s shocking to hear them share their opinions (the personal, the political, the random!) and criticisms out loud; hard to believe they don’t feel embarrassed by their meanness and rigidity. Some people are so sure of their opinions and not a moment of doubt, perspective or critical thinking will cast a shadow over their views. All we can do is to remember that it’s a reflection of THEIR consciousness, THEIR blind spots and THEIR cognitive approach to the world. We can be interested in a detached way; interested about how they think and how their mind can seize upon such a strange take on things. We don’t need to agree, we may not need to argue or convince and we definitely don’t need to take it personally. It’s just them, it’s their brain. It’s ok that they think that; it’s a moment in time and it probably isn’t the result of a well-thought-out philosophy, it’s just a fake pearl falling out of a matchbox. Notice the silliness of it and move on. Be pleased that you are a broad thinker with an open mind who is into “live and let live”. And we can also try to be non-judgmental towards the opinionated and judgemental. It’s just their rigid rulesy mind. We can do “live and let live” with them as well. Choose inner peace today.

19th June, 2024

Taking pause:

Take a pause today. Stop. Breathe. Centre. Clear the mind of past and future. Stop. No hurry, no worry. Take the pause and notice the peace. Repeat.

18th June, 2024

Know your worth!

It’s important that you know your worth! Unique, like a fingerprint, there is nobody just like you. You have a unique set of skills and gifts and a unique energy that you bring to the world. It’s irrelevant whether everyone likes you all the time; the mission is to bring the unique self and know that we align with who we align with; it’s not really ours to control. Everyone has a unique mission and it’s silly to compare ours with the missions of others; we have no idea of their true situation or circumstances. We may see some of their outer world but we cannot know their inner world. We are all part of nature and we all have huge, immeasurable worth. If you ever question your worth (which we should not, ever) then the answer (please remember and repeat) is that you are worthy as fuxk! Repeat as necessary and know it.

17th June, 2024

Generating enthusiasm:

Sometimes enthusiasm is involuntary. We just feel an urge, an excitement, a desire to act. Automatic enthusiasm can be great but we can also be enthusiastic about things that we later realise were not so great for us. Learning to generate or boost enthusiasm consciously is a skill of maturity: choosing wisely and then increasing the emotional enthusiasm towards the required action. What do you choose to be enthusiastic about today? Focus on how good it will be, deliberately keeping your heart and mind attuned to the positive and uplifting aspects. We can have deliberate control over enthusiasm, just by choosing truth and evidence for good and peppering it with Yes emotional feelings in the chest. Pump it up today and enthuse yourself towards whatever you want. It’s also more fun that way.

14th June, 2024

Expanding the peace balloon:

You know, and I know too, that many people are concerned about things, things in the world, things between people, things internally, so listen now, as we start with one, one is all we can do, and one is plenty, focusing now, and breathing slowly in, breathing deep peace into your inner balloon, I wonder what colour it is, and holding, now breathing out, letting go of all the pissed-off build-up, releasing all anger and blame, releasing criticism, letting your balloon fill with each breath of inner peace, golden air, maybe even rainbow-coloured glittery air, as your subconscious mind can begin to notice all of the little gifts around you, gifts that expand your peace, gifts that fill your balloon with love, gifts that remind you of all those good things in the world, you can notice more and more things as each day arrives, and your inner balloon of peace continues to expand, bringing more joy, more love, and more peace to the world, as all our balloons begin to move together and unite into oneness. Enjoy.

13th June, 2024

Which emoji?

Choose an emoji to remind you of what to focus on or how you want to be today. Sometimes a symbol or picture is stronger than a word, like a short-hand code for the mind. It might be a facial emoji, but you can be creative and use the emoji as a metaphor, or just choose something that makes you feel good.

12th June, 2024

Body signals:

Have you noticed that for many of us, our emotional body signals are more than just physical? The body alerts us in some form when we are tired, overwhelmed, in inner conflict, heading out of a safety zone, and when in need of new challenges. If we ignore early warning signs, the signals get louder and impossible to ignore. When the bodymind says No, we probably need to listen quickly. It’s called self respect and it means treating the bodymind as something important, somebody at least as important to please as those other people we’re intent on pleasing. Tune into the signals today and say No where you need to say No. Your bodymind will respond quickly to the best decisions for you.

11th June, 2024

Jet fuel for the mind:

The jet fuel of the mind is about the right idea. It’s the idea that lights up your tree, the one that feels exciting and compelling. It could be a simple idea for today, like approaching everything with a calm mind, or a zen attitude or with optimism. Optimism is a high jet fuel concept, based on the idea of optimising your interpretations of events and opportunities with a firm basis in factual evidence and with feet firmly on the ground. If you’re not feeling great, it’s probably a day for zen; just chop wood and carry water, be with what you’re doing and do one thing consciously. If you are a little more energised, then adopt optimism as your jet fuel and elevate your thoughts and actions towards the exciting possibilities. Either way, you have your jet fuel for the day. Go well and choose wisely.

7th June, 2024

The calming cure.

You know, and I know too, that a calm system makes everything better, and it can be hard, can it not, to stay calm in this strange world, so listen now, coming back to now, back here, where everything is fine, it’s all ok, breathing in, planets held in place, breathing out, you don’t have to do anything right now, nothing to prove, the pressure releases, all the people in your mind are released into their highest good, trusting the flow of the universe, all things working together for good, all controls being reset now to calm, to clear, to comfort, everything turned down to the right levels for you now, you relax, you breathe freely, you are free, you are safe, it’s all ok and you can go about today with optimal calm. Enjoy.

6th June, 2024

Remember to come back.

Come back here. As in come back to now. Our human minds are always jumping back and forward in time, taking our emotions on some kind of rollercoaster. The future, which doesn’t actually exist at all yet, can be exciting or scary, depending on what story we make up about it, and the past, which can be pleasant or aggravating, depending on which memories we ruminate on, are both imaginary. When our attention is focused on now, everything is real, everything is ok. Cancel the future, blur the past towards pleasant nostalgia and return the mind to now. Now is good.

5th June, 2024

Need to speak up?

There’s often a situation in which we need to speak up and say what we think and feel. The urge to “keep the peace” is useful at times, but in the long term, relational intelligence is about speaking the truth with love, and being willing to discuss the hard stuff, even if it’s uncomfortable. If we don’t speak the truth, we lack inner peace and important relationships can begin to feel inauthentic or one-sided. There are times to shut up and there are times to speak the truth with as much respect and kindness as we can muster. Traits of people-pleasing or perfectionism can get in the way but it’s our job to work through these patterns and learn to speak up when it matters. Is there something you need to say? Give voice to it soon for the greater good.

4th June, 2024

Don’t. Do. Perfect.

Perfect sucks. Perfectionism evolves for many reasons, and is common among people who experienced stress during childhood. It’s true that perfectionism can be a successful survival mechanism for a critical or chaotic environment. It can begin as pressure to do things well so that no one has to worry about you or disapprove of you. Or even so you can escape as a “success”. For some, the habit of holding yourself to those standards becomes a life pattern.

Many perfectionists exist in a permanent state of urgency and tension, where inner demands exceed outer capacity. There is nothing to prove now. It’s time to be enough just because you’re already enough. The inner pressure of perfectionism is exhausting, subconsciously enraging and can manifests as pain/fatigue/emotional disturbance. Please think carefully about your inner expectations today and keep it chill.

3rd June, 2024

An agreeable day!

Today is a day where your nervous system could be quite agreeable. Agreeable means we accept what is, whether it’s a person or a happening, and decide to optimise it. It’s an attitude of mind and body that says YES. Notice any resistance you feel as events unfold and, if you choose, decide to be accepting and agreeable today. From acceptance comes choice and optimisation. Start with “is”, and work out “could be”. The possibilities are great for you today.

30th May, 2024

So hard on yourself!

You know it, you’re way harder on yourself than you ever would be on someone you cared about, and even those you may not care about. It’s quite unfair really, I mean integrity means applying the same standards or rules in an equitable way. So why should you have to be so super-perfect?? Integrity means we accept human imperfection as a norm, both in the self and in others. There are no perfect people and how boring would they be if they did exist. We also all differ in our working definition of perfection too, so the whole concept is fundamentally flawed. Just be you. Be real. Be kind. Be ethical. That’s enough. You’re awesome AF. Remind yourself of that today.

29th May, 2024

Help for feeling grounded and centered:

When you’re overwhelmed in the pressure of life, staying centered and grounded can be tricky. It’s easy to feel like the mind is agitated, disconnected and foggy. That’s a probably a sign of needing to rebalance. We can ground and centre ourselves quickly and regularly by taking a few minutes to be present. Focus on breathing, scan the body, observe surroundings, and let go of distractions, releasing them into space. Any physical activity can also help with grounding, especially yoga, stretching, or a walk in nature or the city. Start with intention. It could be as simple as “right now, I will focus on remaining calm" or "I will be kind to myself” or “I am centred and grounded”. Please spend time outside, even if it's just for a few minutes. The fresh air and scenery can have a grounding effect. Write down your thoughts and feelings to help process emotion and bring mental clarity. Take breaks from your devices and social media to reconnect with yourself and the world around you. Remember, staying grounded is ongoing and takes regular practice. Small, consistent actions can keep you solid. How do you stay centered? Share your tips below!

28th May, 2024

Tension?

Are you carrying tension in mind and body? The pressures of life can lead to us forgetting to breathe, forgetting to relax, forgetting to re-balance. Notice your muscles around neck, shoulder, jaw. Let them drop, relax your shoulders and allow your jaw to slacken. Remember also to take deeper breaths into the belly region. Deep slow breaths help balance the body and mind. Breathe in twice through the nose then breathe out of the mouth into a long sigh. A physiological sigh reduces sympathetic nervous activity. Breathe into the calm and breathe out all of the tension. Keep your body loose today to help the mind maintain its peace.

27th May, 2024

More self-appreciation!

Today has to start with self-acceptance and move quickly to self-appreciation. No comparisons, no criticisms and no focus on any perceived gaps. You are intelligent, resourceful, creative and open. You seek information and you aim to feel good. You have integrity. That’s enough. You are awesome as fuxk and you need to take every opportunity to appreciate yourself today. Starting now!

24th May, 2024

To feel good again:

If you’d like to feel better, any kind of better, all kinds are welcome, then listen now, slowing all system settings, that’s right, just turn them down a tad, breathing, in, then hold, and out slowly, imagining a long thin plume of coloured air leaving your lips, all the built up gunk, all the stuff from others, the weight of life, the future that doesn’t even exist really, the cares and worries all leaving your system in that plume of coloured air now, leaving only space and calm; nothing bothers you now, nothing disturbs you, and you can get back to who you truly are, the essence of YOU, creative, intelligent, resourceful and vital, you are, and you can feel it building, the more calm, the more good feelings, the slower you go, the better you feel, and you do feel good, somewhere in there, building more and more over time, vitality and aliveness building and building now, and you can go about your day knowing it’s regenerating, always. Go well.

23rd May, 2024

The priority is always calm.

If you’re wondering where to start, or how to decide, or which way to approach things, the priority is always to be calm. With a calm system comes clarity. In a relaxed state we can collate the facts, our needs, the needs of key others, the pros, the cons, and, most important of all, what we feel in our heart and what we know in our gut. Tune out the noise and chaos and give your thoughts and feelings the space they need to be heard. Listen in to your truth. The soul knows what it wants; we just need to be quiet, ask the questions, and actually listen to and act on the answers. Calm is the way.

22nd May, 2024

New thinking:

When we’re stuck on solving something, the mind often stays on a familiar thought pathway, going over the same information and the same concerns. Stuck states need new input. Ideally, we can leave the “problem” temporarily, relax, do something else, and come back with a fresh mind. That’s why we often see things anew after a good night’s sleep. But if it feels more urgent (and in truth, problems often feel more urgent than they really are) then opening our minds to new input and new thinking is required. New input via books, podcasts, music (amazing how lyrics can trigger new perspective) and talking to other people, preferably wise people. The right idea can come to us via the strangest places; billboards, observing nature, words on trucks on the road, a line in a movie or tv series. Be open to new thinking today and relax your mind to let input through from whichever source it happens to be. Ideas are everywhere.

21st May, 2024

Go forward fearlessly!

Clear your head and think about what you actually want. Not the details, not the specifics, just the emotional outcome. Do you want order, do you want challenge, do you want fun, do you want connection, do you want to express yourself creatively, do you want to feel energised and organised? Choose one thing and go forward fearlessly. Focus only on your chosen factor and let your mind be a laser that beams your desire into fruition through right thought and right action. Be single-focused; spreading our intention too thinly is a mistake. One thing at a time. Be fearless today, get done only that which needs to be done, and remember to feel good.

20th May, 2024

Set a higher standard!

It’s time to set a higher standard for inner thoughts today! Those thoughts might not be great when they first pop out into consciousness; we don’t actually need to have control of our automatic thoughts. What we do have control over is what happens next. The mind has malware and is likely to throw out all kinds of worrying or incorrect or unpleasant “observations” that are not factual or based in reality. So the high standard applies to noticing our thoughts, observing how they feel, checking the evidence and calling on wise mind to modify those thoughts to a much higher standard. High standard thoughts are neutral, non self-critical and focused on evidence-based perspective. High standard thoughts can acknowledge both the facts and the positive possibilities. They feel ok, even better than ok at times. Use the wise Zen mind program to override any rubbish auto thoughts and the day will always improve, minute by minute.

16th May, 2024

Stop inner urgency:

When we’ve been stressed for a long time, we can experience changes in our inner perspective. Firstly, certain stressors begin to take on an exaggerated importance. Once we have felt that feeling of the exaggerated importance, we often respond with urgency. Urgency to tell, urgency to discuss, urgency to fix, sometimes urgency to criticize or correct or escape. Feelings of urgency are useful in an actual emergency but creating “emotional emergency” is usually detrimental, both to the nervous system and to relational intelligence. Urgency is judgement-impairing. Beware of that first domino: allowing things to be of exaggerated importance in mind. It starts there. How big is it really? What’s the evidence? How would a detached outsider view it? What is another perspective? What is the wise action (if any) to take? Moving into balance and clarity helps maintain a calm nervous system. Slow it all down today and access wise mind.

15th May, 2024

No obligation!

Some of us are more susceptible to the pressure to agree to what others ask or demand, even if we don’t actually want to do it. The use of implied fear, obligation and guilt in a request or demand can be very powerful, depending on childhood experience as well as personality traits such as agreeableness which can lead to people-pleasing. Being neurodivergent can also have an effect on the ability to spot manipulation and/or know how to respond without being trapped in perceived obligation. Additionally, saying NO can lead to its own troubles, with loops of self-doubt and guilt replaying afterwards, over and over. There’s no easy answer; this pattern requires psychological understanding, self-acceptance and gradual evolution towards building both an inner boundary and an outer limit with certain others. “It’s easier to say yes” may be ok sometimes but might also lead to emotional and physical symptoms over the longer term. There is no obligation, you get to make a choice. Rather than an outright NO (and NO is fine; NO is a full sentence), it may be “not now”, “not yet”, and “not that way”. Stay in the circle of choice today by being connected to the inner compass of your own needs. You matter.

14th May, 2024

Relax the grip!

Don’t hold on too tightly today. There will be something that we are attaching too much to, and grasping is never a good thing. Relax the grip, release the holding on and remember that the universe is unfolding towards growth and positives. Despite appearances, everything is better when we relax and practise radical acceptance. Be willing to let it go and see what evolves. It’s all ok.

13th May, 2024

Mindset of power!

Self-efficacy is about knowing that you can handle things. You don’t have to know how you’ll handle it, just know that you can, and you will. This is the mindset of strength and power! You can do it, you’ve got this, and it’s a day of self-appreciation for your positive attitude and resourcefulness. Stay with the force today and remember that you will handle it all.

9th May, 2024

Need a confidence boost?

Confidence is about what we believe, not just in mind, but in body. When our whole self fully believes something to be, then we are naturally confident about it, we don’t have to question or try to convince ourselves. Test your confident feeling. Think of something you 100% know to be true, such as the sun rising this morning. It did. No questions, it’s light outside, the sun rose. It just is. That’s the confidence feeling. If you want confidence in another belief about yourself then you find a fact or two about it. Something indisputable. If it’s a fact, then we get that same “it just is” feeling as before. People try to be confident about unknowns (eg other people or situations) but unknowns aren’t facts. In unknown situations we focus on actual facts like “I’ve successfully managed many unknowns before”. We focus on previous resourcefulness or abilities or any other fact that we know to be true. If we stay in the land of facts then we can have that strong quiet confidence that is based on reality instead of “influencer-type” confidence fantasy. Be a factual confident quiet achiever today. You will have solid foundations and you will rock it.

May 8th, 2024

Everything is ok now.

Most of our unpleasant feelings stem from the past and/or lie in some imagined future. If we come back to the present, we can notice that everything is ok right now. Right now, we can accept what is. Keep your mind grounded firmly in the present moment today.

May 7th, 2024

Unmet needs?

Unmet needs can trigger physical symptoms as well as emotional symptoms. It could come in the form of pain, mood changes, irritability, recurring gut or other disturbance, food or substance cravings or fatigue. Unmet needs may not relate to what others are giving or not giving, but what you have not acknowledged and allowed yourself. Relaxation time, space, silence, joy, fun, engaging in activities you love, or just the choice to do what you really want instead of what you feel is expected of you. Ask today about true deeper needs and see what you need to pay more attention to in yourself.

May 6th, 2024

Be kind please!!

Be kind to you today! No comments about what you should or shouldn’t do or be or feel, just be as pleasant and accepting to yourself as you are to your favorite people and pets. Be super nice, with a generous attitude and complimentary words. Be understanding about what doesn’t go so well and massively excited about any wins, big or small. Just like you would for others. It’s only fair. Be a self super fan today.

May 1st, 2024

It’s alive!

You’re alive! Your brain is alive, your body and all cells and all the other bits and pieces. Feel the aliveness! It’s easy to feel a bit tired and use deadening words that totally forget aliveness. Your ideas are alive. You are moving and going places in both mind and body. Enjoy your aliveness and let it power you into higher states of physiology and focus today!

April 30, 2024

For blah moods:

If you wake up in a blah mood, a mood that doesn’t feel so good, there’s a way to make it less unpleasant. Firstly, identify the feeling, in both body and mind. Is it tightness, fatigue or tension? And would you label it agitated, irritated, pissed off, flat, foggy or sad? Is there an obvious trigger? Poor sleep, excess stress, uncertainty, pain or hormonal weirdness? Trigger or not, it doesn’t matter. Label the feeling, note where in your body and mind you can feel it, accept it as a temporary state then put your thoughts elsewhere. No dwelling or ruminating or being annoyed about it. Choose a go-to thought like “I will take good care of myself today” and remove thoughts and expectations away from the self by focusing on what is around you. Excessive thought is usually unhelpful when the mood is blah as the thoughts often follow the flavour of the mood. Reading is good, and music is better. There will be book lines or music lyrics that help neutrality. All you need to do is remain neutral when feeling blah. Keep thoughts centered on a safe area and don’t go into cognitive danger zones or feed any inner fury. Go offline from any worries and stay in the safety zone until things improve. They always do.

April 29, 2024

Small intentions:

No big expectations for today. Just small intentions, intentions for little good things. Breathing, focusing on remaining calm, doing only what you need to do, remembering a few pleasant things about your life, so many to choose from but just focus on what comes easily to mind. Stay in the now, no jumping ahead, and just do what needs to be done with a chill attitude. You’ve got this.

April 25, 2024

Mind Craft:

If your mind was a computer game, how would it look and feel? Would you like a Pac-Man to gobble up all the extraneous unnecessary thoughts, or a weapon of some kind to clear the space?? Or would you like to build a little dream world in there so all is just as you like? Or maybe a vehicle race where you cruise along in the lead? Load your mind software any way you like today. It’s your time, it’s your game and you set the rules. Have fun and feel good.

April 24, 2024

Patience.

Moving into a state of patience is not an easy thing for many of us. As technology and all kinds of immediate services (including online shopping and gaming) increase our loop of instant gratification, it can reduce both the need for patience and the tolerance for patience. Patience means that what’s happening now is ok. Patience means we know something else might happen and we are prepared to calmly wait the required period of time. Patience means we can pause while a person responds or doesn’t respond. How is lack of patience showing up for you? Could you decide to slowly build the patience muscles, knowing that it adds to inner peace? Decide to take a beat today and notice a billboard in your mind that says PAUSE AND BREATHE. ALL IS WELL. HAVE PATIENCE.

April 23, 2024

Foot off pedal.

Are you driving things too fast in there?? Are you clinging too hard, pushing too much, trying to make something happen or not happen? Maybe it’s time to trust in the bigger plan, trust that you’re part of nature and it’s all working out perfectly for you. You probably don’t need that pedal to the metal; you can probably cruise a little more. Just chill and know that everything is actually being taken care of for you. Your universe has got your back.

April 22, 2024

New day for new thoughts!

Today is a new day, and it always will be and nothing is the same as yesterday. Today is always better; we know more, we are more, we have new resources and ideas and possibilities. We never know what good things are just around the corner, and some might even make themselves known today. Choose a great new thought for a great new day.

April 18, 2024

Integrity with yourself:

One of the big things we can do for our health is to be in internal integrity, meaning integrity within the self. Integrity means we tell ourselves the truth. We admit to what is real and what is important to us. The truth about what we feel, what we see, what we want and do not want, and who we want to be around. Trying to hide the truth from ourselves can, over time, lead to anxiety, depression, fatigue and worsening of physical symptoms. The first step is claiming the freedom to admit an actual truth to ourselves. The second step is taking the required action (if any) based on that truth. It doesn’t mean we need to tell everyone else; some truths are private and others require sharing. If you’re hiding a truth then it’s time to get real, get back into integrity with yourself and admit to what you think and feel. Only then will the right course of action present itself.

April 17, 2024

Time-out for your phone:

Our phones need to be put regularly into time-out. This means you don’t need to take it on a walk. You don’t need to put it on the table if you’re out somewhere. You don’t have to look at it in bed. You don’t need to sleep beside it. You don’t need to have it next to you on the couch. You don’t need to look at it when you’re waiting somewhere. Evidence suggests phones have affected our nothing-brain state, our ability to daydream and our drifting creative mind. They’re great when we need them but most phone activity is unnecessary and probably detrimental. It keeps the mind in hypervigilance and increases stress signalling. Send your phone to time-out today, and make it a long one. You’ll feel better for it

April 16, 2024

Brain rest.

Stop. Listen. Breathe. Let silence fill the brain regardless of externals. Just listen for the next thought, then stop, wait again, listening. If the brain is too full, stop, let each thought drain away, and keep listening for the silence. You need a breather. Here it is.

April 15, 2024

Optimism in world mess:

When things feel messed up at a personal level, it helps optimism when we can take a broader perspective, focusing on the vast universe in all its expansiveness, order, competence and beauty. But in times when the mess is happening way out in the broader world, outside of our personal arena, we may need to do the opposite to help get our optimism back in line. We may need to consciously zone in on our small circle, our loved ones, people and pets, the enjoyment, the humor, the friendship, the beauty, the interesting things, the possibilities, ideas, colors and sounds; all the great things we appreciate in our actual lives. There’s always a lot to appreciate and savour. Knowing when to zoom out to a vast universe and zoom in to the close circle is a key aspect of managing focus and attention so that we can manage a challenging narrative, directing it back to what feels better in the moment. Choose the good stuff today and move your focus to wherever it needs to be.

April 11, 2024

I see cool people

People often ask about themes we see as psychologists. The biggest theme I’m noticing right now in many of the people I coach, is how hard people can be on themselves. What I see is a whole lot of intelligent, considered, self-reflective, creative, kind, very cool people. But due often to the past behavior or messages of others, they begin to doubt themselves and have more difficulty staying in touch with their own awesomeness. Taking too much responsibility and feeling “to blame” is very common in both women and people with neurodivergent brains. It creates a feeling of “I have to fix it” as well as “To fix it I have to fix me”. While of course we all must take responsibility for our choices, there are many external factors (including other people and their choices) that we cannot control.High empathy personality and neurodivergence are wonderful things but come with a side dish of not always knowing with part is ours and which part belongs to the other. Shit can get all mixed up, generating anxiety and self-doubt, as well as low moods and exhaustion. Be aware of this tendency if it resonates with you, and see it for the trick that it is. Re-centre yourself on who you are, what you’re good at, and the things you love. You too are one of the cool people and you should know this.

April 10, 2024

People don’t suddenly grow empathy.

The level of empathic ability in adults is fairly stable. In other words, the highly empathic individual will remain so, and probably become more in tune with the reading of those around them over time. That’s probably you, given the nature of these posts. And, conversely, those who are not particularly tuned in to the thoughts, feelings and true needs of others will probably remain that way. While explaining your feelings or intentions or needs to somebody probably won’t change their overall empathic level, it may improve that particular situation by helping them see it from your point of view. It’s just that it’s highly unlikely to bleed into their view of the next thing, and that’s frustrating. Empathy training is possible in childhood but most adults have a set point that’s fairly locked and loaded. Don’t take it personally if somebody lacks empathy; it’s a skill or ability that just didn’t kick in for them. The key point is accepting that while they may have other great qualities, that’s not one of them, and that’s probably the way it is. It’s not about you and you can manage your expectations accordingly. Please remember this.

April 9, 2024

Tiredness and the empty tank:

The changes in weather and daylight saving time can be confusing to the body. Add this to the buildup of life over the past few months (or years!) and combine it with all the recent local and world events and you have a recipe for energetic drain. Are we doing enough to fill up the tank? If you divided your life into energy tank fillers and energy tank drainers (people, activities and general moods) then what would the balance look like? Do you need a few extra energy tank fillers? Start with basics: good food, right sleep, some exercise, some relaxation, inspiring/energising music and some tailored fun. Then add all the extras you can think of; if you’re not sure then think about how you liked to spend free time when you were 11 years old. Chances are you haven’t changed much and similar fun will be good for you. Don’t focus on the drainage (unless you need to stop doing certain draining things) but focus instead on adding items to fill the tank. All is well.

April 8, 2024

Choose the Optimism Zone!

There are always many things we could focus on, many thoughts, conversations and ideas. Many interactions, stories, many possibilities. And if we choose to remain in the optimism zone when going over things in our mind, then we really need to remain factual. If there is a focus on something unwanted such as stress, pain, fatigue or disappointment, we can focus on the fact that it is temporary, specific to one area, and not personal, just part of the menu of life. We never know when things are going to quickly improve, and it’s usually faster than we expect. Rather than polluting all of life, shrink the issue to its factual side, with no catastrophizing. It’s not everything, it’s just one aspect. And it’s not personal, it’s part of human experience and sh*t just happens sometimes. Better things are always just around the corner and today is always a new day so be on the lookout for improvements and signs of new growth. Staying in optimism zone is a choice we can make all day with a quick shift of focus. Stay in that zone today, you know it feels better.

March 28, 2024

The healthy online skeptic:

Please be aware of how much is curated online. Whether it’s known people on insta or so-called experts on podcasts or TikTok, what you see probably isn’t what you get. The drive for approval, status, money and fame is stronger than ever, and it’s apparently easy to fool people into thinking you have credibility or authority online. Please be a healthy skeptic. In a time when everyone is looking for quick answers and “hacks” we need to remember our humanity and the necessarily individualised process of actual change. Nobody has all the answers and those who act like they do are often wizards of Oz behind a curtain. Be aware. Don’t fall for fake stuff. Watch and listen, but always know that we never really know what’s truly going on behind the image. This is why social comparison is a waste of energy. Just do you.

March 27, 2024

Radical self-appreciation:

Most people don’t receive enough appreciation. It would be great to be appreciated just for who we are, for our uniqueness and personhood rather than only for the things we do. We appreciate personhood and uniqueness is pets and often in children but adults, well, apparently appreciation must be hard-earned at times. Start with the self. Are you giving yourself the appreciation you could? Just for being? Because you exist, in all your uniqueness, gifts and interesting quirks? For your interesting or amusing view of the world? For your inner world? Start today. Appreciation begins with Thank you and could expand into details of what and why. For everything! Big, small, mundane, poignant. Practise radical self-appreciation and regularly acknowledge your inner self today!

March 26, 2024

Balance of responsibility:

When bad vibes or conflict occurs, people seem to either feel fully responsible for what happened, or assume no responsibility at all. It’s as though many have programmed themselves as the hero or villain and that’s just that. In general, those who automatically take too much responsibility (the self-proclaimed villains) need to realise their own part is just a part; there are many factors, often including the behaviour or responses of others. And in general, the one who always thinks “it’s not my fault”, the self proclaimed hero, needs to realise each human has a part to play in any system and that their approach or behaviour or response is certainly a contributing factor. Creating balance in level of responsibility is a key skill in emotional maturity. Please check perspective today!

March 25, 2024

Clear, calm, confident:

Triple C mantra for today is “Clear, calm and confident”. This is for you. May your head be clear, may your nervous system be calm and may you radiate confidence. Triple C gives you strength and resources for whatever is needed today. The force is with you.

March 22, 2024

Head too full?

Stop now, slow your eyes right down, let your shoulders and stomach muscles just relax, as you breathe in a deep cool breath of relaxation, and now hold it, and hold it, now let it go, breathing out through your mouth as if blowing through a straw, slower, and deeper now, in, and hold, now out through the straw, you can, and as you focus on your breathing, I want your inner mind to listen to me, here, as you switch off all the excess buzzing and activity, that’s right, we are going to switch on only the essential aspects of mind now, all extraneous questions and answers and concerns and vague worries are now fully de-activated, only necessary processes left alight, just one or two things switched on, just the essentials, the rest can wait, the sun is there, the planets are held in place, night becomes day, no need to control the universe, just focus on breathing, then one foot steps where it needs to go, and then the other, nothing bothers you now, nothing disturbs you, you simply focus on the next part of now, only the essentials, and nature takes care of you and yours, all is well, you can relax, it’s all ok, just show up and do only what you must. The force is with you.

March 21, 2024

Cancel the future!

As that saying goes, if you want instant stress, get a future. Most of our anxieties and worries lay not in the now, but in what *could* be, and our thoughts of trying to prevent or control that far-off, maybe stuff of an imagined future. The past is gone. It’s done. It has material for learning from, but not lamenting or ruminating. That’s a pointless waste. And the future doesn’t exist. Beyond doing normal, sensible adult things, we can let the future dissolve. All we truly have is the present moment, and if we keep making intelligent choices in the present moment, then we will keep having more great present moments. Cancel the future and be here now. Now is good.

March 20, 2024

Be willing to choose peace.

When stress is stirred up, it’s easy to get caught in the drama. For some people, drama and chaos feels exciting or satisfying, and perhaps even normal. For the rest of us, it’s more of a drain. If you prefer peace, then consciously choose peace by stating it to yourself straight up. When tempted to enter the eye of an emotional storm, stop and choose. Are you choosing peace? What would choosing peace look and sound like? In a very chaotic world, we can all start with one, and choose peace in each moment.

March 19, 2024

Doubting yourself?

Self-doubt isn’t a lack of confidence. Self-doubt means that part of you thinks you can, then another part, probably an external voice from the past, questions it. Speak back to self-doubt. Remind yourself that you are well-resourced and can find information or ideas or answers or assistance. Remind yourself that you have runs on the board, many different kinds of runs. Remind yourself that others have done it so you can too. We are all human. We have moments of questioning but we don’t jump in that pool. We speak to the unhelpful voices, thank them for their input and remind ourselves that this is what we’re doing. Just do it.

March 18, 2024

Optimism adjustment:

Adjust your controls to increase optimism today. No toxic positivity required, just a factual, helpful narrative about whatever is going on. When we adjust to optimism, we feel a quickening, a surge of possibilities. The possibilities are always there, it’s just a matter of whether we are viewing the many possibilities or whether we are stuck behind an unhelpful story about things. Whatever it is, it’s improving already, there’s always something you can do about it (usually adjusting our own behavior or mindset) and it’s nobody’s fault. Getting stuck in blame doesn’t help at all. Remind yourself that things can improve quickly at any moment and we never really know what great things are just around the corner. Today is a great day because we can make it so. Keep the mind tuned to optimism as you go about the day. Do it because it feels good.

March 15, 2024

Your personal propellant:

Breathe with me now, and slow right down as you listen to my words, as I speak to you, directly to your inner mind here, breathing slowly in, and holding, now release it, letting go, relaxing, and allowing all blockages to instantly dissolve into thin air with every out-breath, you can, and as well, I want your inner mind to notice the propellant, the power that propels you forward into wherever and whatever you need to be today, that personal propellant is building inside you now, gathering strength, powering up wildly, exactly to the level needed for you, a comfortable and exciting level, and it’s ready to activate whenever you say go, it’s ready now, you’re ready, so flick that propellant switch and feel your rocket fuel kick you into the best gear for today. All power to you.

March 14, 2024

Moment of admiration

This moment of admiration is for you. As you take it in, please internalise the message as if it’s from you, to you. Admiration for your unique gifts, your particular talents, your strength, your ability to adapt to all you have endured over the years, your optimism despite many obstacles, your positive attitude even when the sh*t hits the fan, your kindness and generosity, your resourcefulness and ability to seek out the ideas and information that inspires you, your creativity and ability to think in a different way, see a new perspective. You are an awesome human and one of a kind. Much respect and admiration to you. You f*cking rock.

March 13, 2024

Listening to victim talk?

When you work very hard at optimism mindset and taking responsibility for moving forward, it can be very frustrating to listen to other people who are stuck in a pessimistic victim narrative. When we are hearing them speak about their situation, we can hear how their story keeps them stuck, and how there are many things they could do to improve their situation if only they adopted a can-do attitude. Usually our advice or narrative challenge isn’t welcome here; people can get very sucked into their own story. Often the more you try to point out possibilities, the more they dig into to why they can’t happen. If our solution or advice isn’t welcome, be supportive, be validating and keep to time boundaries in order to preserve the energy you need on the day. Sometimes we can listen and sympathise for ages; other times we reach frustration overload fast. Know that people are ready when they’re ready. It’s their life and their choice, better to be there with options if and when they are actually ready. And remember, the main challenge to the mood and outlook of an optimist is being around pessimism and victimhood. Paradoxically, it’s useful to be optimistic about the pessimism of others: it’s temporary and it could change, it’s probably only about this particular topic, and it’s not personal towards you. Let them have their story but don’t let it affect yours.

March 12, 2024

Motivation and inspiration:

Motivating ourselves can be exhausting! We usually want motivation when we’re trying to do something we don’t really want to do. It’s often when the mind says yes but the heart says no. It usually consists of trying to force something, to talk one’s self into a thing, to push and argue, and push again. It’s all about effort. Sometimes it works, sometimes the heart wins and finds a better reason not to do it. Inspiration, on the other hand, comes from a natural place within. It means we are aligned with our inner and outer forces and we move in the energy/activity flow much more easily. It’s not effort exactly, it’s just a natural evolution of inner drives and outer actions. When we lack energy towards something, let’s focus on inspiration rather than motivation. It requires a mind-shift which usually comes from new ideas and a change of the inner storyline. Watch out for new inspiration today.

March 8, 2024

Daily dose:

Follow me here, with your eyes and your mind, and as you do follow, I want you now to consciously slow down, taking a long in-breath, now hold it, and now, breathe out, as if blowing bubbles, and in your mind’s eye you can see all those bubbles moving into the air, the build-up of the week, and all the things, it all leaves now, much more relaxed, any tension dissolves in those bubbles, disappearing into thin air, and now you can breathe in again, taking in your daily dosage of optimism, feel it entering your system through nature’s perfect arrangement, oxygen, optimism, and a dash of oxytocin as you feel the connection to everything and everyone, we share the clean air with all of nature, plants, animals, trees, people, tune into that oneness and take that with you today, knowing that you can take another dose whenever you need and it always hits the right spot. Enjoy.

March 7, 2024

Watch the inner vibes!

While many people present a positive outlook to the world, the inner narrative isn’t always so sunny. In fact many people have a litany of negatives in the mind towards themselves, other people and the future. If the inner narrative is a consistent downer then over time that’s going to be draining and a bit depressing. It’s also tiring to have to cover up those thoughts with a mask for everyone else. Change the direction of the inner narrative by giving it specific questions to answer. What is going well? What is ok right now? What are we looking forward to? What are we pleased about that has happened? Who do we feel appreciation for right now? What can we congratulate ourselves for achieving, no matter how seemingly small? What thing can we do to make today more peaceful and enjoyable? Good questions lead to solid answers that get the mind back into optimistic facts and away from vague worries and gloomy thoughts. If the inner vibe needs lifting today then ask yourself some pointed questions to get yourself back in the game.

March 6, 2024

Stop status insecurity!

There’s a racket going on to create insecurity. Insecurity is useful for sellers, as it leads to a state of want. When we have a sense of that gap between wanting and having, it leads to purchasing both services and items to enhance our “pretend self-esteem”. We are being set up for constant comparison in fitness, health, youth, houses, luxury items, beauty, so-called mental health, happiness, perfect families, friends, “amazing experiences”, romantically idealised relationships and exciting high-paid jobs. Our brains are being more and more driven towards that quest for “perfection”. And it’s all a consumer racket. Every time we judge ourselves or compare to others or assess “where we should be” we are falling victim to the racket. Humans are humans, all uniquely gifted, on their own path and all important in the world. Please do not fall for those “ideals” that are being subliminally imposed. The mantra is “perfect as is”. And please remember that everything we see on a device (and sometimes in the real world) is advertising. It’s been curated to capture the attention of the ego and create desire via insecurity. Don’t fall for it.

March 5, 2024

Fast hack for stress:

If you need to calm down quickly, then do this: tilt your head up, roll your eyes upwards, let your eyes close (if possible), then breathe in through your nose for the count of 4, hold for the count of 7 and breathe out slowly through your mouth (with your lips in small O shape like you’re breathing out of a straw). Then repeat. While doing your breathing, hold the words CALM (during in-breath) and CLEAR (on out-breath) in your mind, perhaps saying it out loud if you can. This method changes both physiology and focus, setting the foundation for a more balanced nervous system. Please do it now.

March 4, 2024

Energy tune-up:

Tune into the energy centre of your body today, noticing where you feel all the strength and power. Notice also that by focusing on where the power is, it begins to increase. Energy always begins in the mind so imagine yourself pumped up and running powerfully on a beach. Feel that strength in your arms and legs and chest, that feeling of “I can, and I am”. Make a fist and pump it and say “YES!” whenever you need to re-access this strength and take all of your protected energy with you today, you are the force field and you kick ass. Keep going!

March 1, 2024

Activation Stream:

Stop what you’re doing, listen closely, and begin now to slow your mind, letting the imagination come to greet me here, and your breath can become deeper, and easier, as you take in a slower stream of air, and hold it, and now release, letting go of all gunk, and build-up, and internal barriers, and unpleasantness, just dissolving all the unneeded things, back to the nothingness they came from, and now, simply and easily, with that new clear space, we can click on the activation stream, we can activate energy, peace, clarity, intention, intelligence and love, we now activate all streams needed for your highest good, and you don’t have to do anything, or know anything, you simply have to let the installation do its thing, and you just glide along in the world, happily knowing that things will be done, will be known, will happen, will be successful, will feel good. Enjoy.

February 29, 2024

The Burnout Blues:

Many low moods are due to burnout. Burnout is more than tiredness, it’s physical, cognitive and emotional. Burnout often follows a period of prolonged stress, which again is often a combination of a physical stressor (a virus, injury, chronic pain or other), emotional stressors and cognitive overload (just having too much in the mind, too many problems to solve). Burnout isn’t cured by a weekend rest, although that can help. Burnout needs understanding, it needs to know what led us to where we are now, and it needs a pathway out of the mire. Incoming and outgoing energies need to become less unbalanced and we need a truthful look at where the energy drainage is occurring. Many people fight the truth on this as they don’t want to or feel they can’t stop doing the energy draining thing. Maybe the improvements are in a compromise or adjustment or change in approach. Burnout colours our view of solutions and sometimes our optimism so it can be helpful to get help when needed. There is a pathway towards more vitality. Take one step on that path today.

February 28, 2024

Superpower focus!

I’m here to remind you of your superpowers. Forget whatever you think you don’t do well, we all have gaps in ability or personality. Focus instead on the incredible strengths, the gifts and the superpowers that have helped you get where you are today. There are many. Think of the curiosity, the creativity, the willingness to learn, the openness, the love of new ideas, the persistence, the determination, the kindness and generosity, the ability to find good people, the discernment, the positive attitude and that wonderful skill of getting up and going again when things don’t work out. That is the stuff of superpowers and not everyone has them. I’m sure you have more. Appreciate those powers today and make a list to remind yourself of just how many special gifts you have onboard. Use your growth mindset by noticing and accessing all of those exciting strengths now.

February 27, 2024

Resolve to listen better:

Many people are semi-tuned out while they are meant to be listening. It’s become a multi-tasking world (and that’s not great in itself) and the last thing we want to do is multitask while supposedly listening to a person we love. At times it can appear that we are listening when really we are just mentally preparing what to say next, or thinking of something else entirely, barely even “waiting” for our “turn” to speak. It’s not even about turns. Not everything has to be tit for tat. Listen first, listen to understand the emotion and the intention behind what your person is saying. Are they wanting mutual outrage, sympathy, agreement, ego boosting, validation, a laugh, a possible solution or just sharing their experience? Form the intention to listen more deeply and supportively for the people who matter. It’s a critical skill that needs constant monitoring and probably determines the quality of our relationships. Listen well today.

February 26, 2024

A day of confidence!

Today is the day to back yourself. Just own it. Confidence is a natural state as long as we don’t undo it with questions, self-doubt and comparisons to others or previous aspects of ourselves from the past. Everything is totally good enough, the uniqueness is awesome and none of it is undermined unless we undermine it ourselves. It’s ok if others underestimate us; sometimes that’s good. It’s exciting to surpass expectations and impress ourselves as well. Confidence means focusing on our natural strengths and gifts and deciding that they are plenty, and that we will calmly show what we can do to anyone and everyone. Own that today.

February 23, 2024

Positivity implant:

Take a long, deep breath now, slowing your mind’s pace and listening carefully as I talk with you, here, and you can keep breathing, easily, slower and deeper, and more relaxed now, as I float the idea of a bright dollop of positivity, pulsing with good news, alight with possibilities, alert to the improving future, and that dollop can be taken now into your mind, with every in-breath you install your positivity implant, the bright dollop spark moves slowly and calmly to where it settles, happily, your own bright spark, full of motivating ideas, and clever reframes, and action data to get you where you need to go, it’s all there, it’s all yours and you can feel it sparking the day forward now, so calmly release yourself from social media and get on with the fun stuff. Enjoy.

February 22, 2024

Not better, not worse:

So many people are cycling uncomfortably around in the mind via social comparisons. We know that the more we compare ourselves to others (either to feel better than them or worse than them) the more fragile our confidence and self-compassion will be. So many people are looking at others in life or on social media and having unpleasant comparison feelings. And yet it’s all made up. It’s mostly quite wrong. In truth we know nothing about those people’s actual experience or true inner lives and yet somehow we use our made-up stories to feel better or worse. Here’s the truth: We are all equal. We all have gifts and quirks and happy and sad and good days and not so good days. Catch the mind in its silly comparison tricks and exit the loop with the statement “we are all humans and we are all ok”. Don’t fall for the ping of inadequacy, it’s just a trick of the mind left over from ancient times when we needed to look to the behaviour of others to know how to survive. These days it’s just a cruel trap. Be aware.

February 21, 2024

Sleepless nights??

We all feel better about things when we sleep well. Sleep makes the world and everything in it look brighter. And if we don’t sleep? Well, then there’s a different temporary lens placed over our life. When we’ve been sleepless, we need to carefully manage our focus and attention. Firstly, not focusing on the lack of sleep. If it comes up, we remind ourselves that we have indeed rested at some level and will get some physical benefit. Secondly, we accept sub-optimal functioning. We can manage despite tiredness, at a lower level. And our lower level will no doubt be better than some people’s higher level. That’s ok, we place our attention on the bits that go ok despite everything. Thirdly, we lower expectations of any external outcomes. It’s ok just to get through, we don’t have to aim for perfection or completion; given that we accept our temporary sub-optimal functioning, we can also accept not achieving what we might normally prefer. The key word is acceptance, an almost “so what!” response to the poor sleep. This helps our brain with the next night. Coding it as non-urgent or no big deal creates less anxiety and arousal for future sleep. It’s ok. You’ll be ok. Every day is a new day and things are looking up.

February 20, 2024

The What if Question:

Anyone with anxiety or overwhelm is subconsciously living on a constant drip feed of What if Questions. What if it goes wrong? What if I can’t do it? What if they don’t respond? What if people are thinking X about me? What if, what if, what if. You can probably feel the anxiety rising as your brain processes those What ifs. Flip the What ifs. What if questions bring good feelings when we flip them into preferred options. What if today went really well? What if we were calm all day? What if we had better levels of contentment than expected? What if this weekend was fantastic? What if this experience turns out to be the best thing ever? What if I got it all done more easily and enjoyably? What if the universe always had my back and it always works out? What if this led to something wonderful each day? These What ifs are the go-to. Choose questions that create exciting and uplifting possibilities today!

February 19, 2024

Give yourself a break!!

Ok it’s time to be a bit more fuxking appreciative of yourself, right now, and drop all that perfectionist crap. There is no standard to meet and no right way of doing or being. No human feels or says or does the “right” thing at every moment and in fact, we celebrate imperfection here. Our little peculiarities are what make us human and interesting. We are not born to compare ourselves to others or constantly see where we are not meeting “standard”. Give yourself a fuxking break today and just allow yourself to be you. You know you fuxking rock so just be there, knowing that you do.

February 16, 2024

A tall glass of CALM:

Allow your eyes to relax as you slowly read my words, and on my count of 3, I want you to slowly breathe in, 1,2,3, now breathe in, and hold it, now very slowly let the clean clear oxygen release from your lungs, taking with it all the build up of whatever, anything you don’t need to hold on to, you now let go with every out-breath, that’s right, slowing as you breathe, deeper and more relaxed, and in your mind’s eye, I want you to pour from the bottle labelled CALM, a beautiful coloured glass bottle that has been powered by the sunshine, and from that bottle, I want you to pour a glass of that pure CALM and now very slowly, very comfortably, you begin to sip the drink of CALM, drinking until it’s finished, and now pour a top-up to sip throughout the day, knowing that every sip settles you more, less reactive now, much more equilibrium, seeing things as they are and bringing an optimism lens to the world. Enjoy.

February 15, 2024

Minute by minute mood mix:

Our moods are formed and maintained minute by minute. While we wake with a baseline state that might range from flat/tired/grumpy to pumped/excited/happy, we can always modify our mood somewhat. Mood maintenance is a mix of the physiological state (body processes) and the psychological state (what the mind focuses on). Want to boost mood? Change the physiology, via rest, activity, cold water, warm water, breathing, eyes closed meditating, and good choices with food and caffeine. And psychologically, notice the inner focus. Even if thoughts are gloomy or focused on gaps/criticisms/painful aspects, you can correct these thoughts by using real evidence of the aspects that are ok or perhaps even going well. Moment by moment, consciously downgrade the threat of the so-called negative aspects and turn the lens to the features that lift the spirits. Choose not to let external circumstances be the full controller of your mood; use the inner controls regularly and cleverly. May you be lifted in spirits today!

February 14, 2024

Are you taking it personally??

Many of us can be easily triggered by perceived “unfairness” in life. Unforeseen events that pop up to thwart our plans, things that suddenly go wrong, people that don’t meet our expectations, people that are critical, rude, dismissive, unreliable or aggressive. The more we believe (often unconsciously) that the world should be fair and just, the worse we feel. In truth people and events are neither fair or unfair, they just are what they are. And it’s not personal, not designed to mess with us. Life involves a series of obstacles and problems to be solved at every turn. This includes people behaving towards us in ways we don’t like or expect. Plus, their behavior is ALWAYS a reflection of their choices and problems and character at the time, not a reflection of our worth. Your worth is a given because you exist, as part of nature. For example, people on the road don’t set out to cut us off, they are just single-minded, internally focused and perhaps dissociated. We’ve all been there. Letting the world be as it is can be a challenge and is always a work in progress. But your inner peace will be linked to taking it all less personally. Remember this today.

February 13, 2024

The importance of peace:

Nothing is more important than inner peace. It needs to be our highest priority. External stressors are always going to present themselves, and we can certainly choose to walk away from some situations or people that disturb our inner peace. But when we can’t exit, then it’s an inside job. Firstly, notice physiology and consciously release tension. Then remind yourself “I choose peace”. Remind yourself to accept the situation, decide it will be easier than you expect, it may actually turn out to be a good thing in some way; state that you will make the best of it and that all forces will assist you because you are calm and peaceful. Peace is not the absence of stress. It’s a choice that must be constantly made despite outer noise, and it’s not a one-off. It’s an imperfect philosophy of life involving ongoing inner adjustments. May peace be with you today.

February 12, 2024

First steps only:

There is to be no overwhelm today. Overwhelm involves an attempt to look at too many pieces at once, with the attempt to solve or control. Stop. Look only at a small first step, preferably in one area only. Taking one first step boosts optimism and a sense of agency providing we are conscious. We can choose to look at that significant small achievement or we can choose to keep focusing on an enormous perceived gap, which is what drives overwhelm. Stick to the first step, move towards and through that one step, and choose to credit yourself with that first step. Only then do we move to next steps, one by one, crediting as we go. Stay in small step mode today and build positive credit slowly but significantly.

February 8, 2024

Entering weird energy zones?

Some of us pick up on the moods and energies of people more easily than others, and while it’s a gift of knowledge, the downside is also in that constant awareness of the vibes. When you can feel or sense what’s going on, it’s easier to also take automatic (often unconscious) responsibility for those moods or energies. Of course humans co-regulate. We help each other create balance. But the energies of others can also throw us off balance, sometimes even changing our own emotions or thoughts in the moment. Learning how to protect our energy while also being aware of managing other energies is a key skill. The first step is noticing. The second step is separating responsibility rather than internalising. It may be enough to say “That’s not my stuff”. The third step is making a conscious choice about going forward, retreating or just being. There are also skills to learn about energy transformation at a deeper level. And that takes a bit of coaching usually. Be aware of energies today as awareness is your first power. Know what’s yours and move back and forth as needed.

February 7, 2024

Come back here!

Come back here, now, to the present moment. Whenever we return to the now, and breathe, we can calm down and re-focus, as we synchronise heart and mind. We need both our emotions and our intellect in order to center ourselves. Stop. Take a breath. Remain awake and aware rather than caught up in inner narratives and worries. Everything is ok. You can breathe, be calm, do your thing and trust that all things are working harmoniously towards the better. It is.me back here, now, to the present moment. Whenever we return to the now, and breathe, we can calm down and re-focus, as we synchronise heart and mind. We need both our emotions and our intellect in order to center ourselves. Stop. Take a breath. Remain awake and aware rather than caught up in inner narratives and worries. Everything is ok. You can breathe, be calm, do your thing and trust that all things are working harmoniously towards the better. It is.

February 6, 2024

Toxic self judgements:

If we are judging ourselves as lazy or hopeless or not good enough or defective in some way then we need to sit the fuxk down, shut the fuxk up and listen. Those toxic inner judgements came from one of two places: either we heard the message from an emotionally immature person at a time when we were young enough to internalise it, and/or we are comparing ourselves to some ridiculous standard, perhaps an exaggerated, perfect, imagined (i.e. untrue) version of a person we know of. Social media and dating apps also seem to breed toxic self judgements so if that’s true for you, stay away from it. If the self judgements happen, stop them in their tracks. Say “I delete that”. Then say “I’m ok”. And in fact you are way better than ok, even if you can’t see it in the moment. Don’t let yourself get away with toxic crap towards yourself. It might be a bad habit, but habits can be changed. Act now.

February 5, 2024

Drive that thing!

What do you want today to be like for you? How do you want to feel? What emotional outcome do you want? Would it be useful to have an intention to turn up, on time, doing what you said you’d do with an attitude of optimism? Forget the peripheral irritation factors. They mean nothing. We are the only ones who can manage our internal environment, so please take charge of your thoughts, focus on where you want to be emotionally, and drive that thing to where you need to go. You’ve got this!

February 1, 2024

Elevate your Zen:

Today requires an elevation of Zen. Let’s enter with the attitude of allowing what ever happens to happen. Let’s allow what doesn’t happen to just not happen. Allow everything to be as it is, and everyone to be who they are, yourself included. Whatever happens is the perfect thing and when it happens is the perfect time. Let’s release any inner tension or resistance and go with the flow of events and of nature today. May the peace be with you.

January 31, 2024

People shocks:

There’s a thing that happens when people we know do something that is unexpectedly shocking or nasty towards us. Often it’s not exactly surprising; they’ve done it before, they’ve done it to other people, we know nasty stuff goes down between people. But we don’t expect it because our own kind and ethical brains just cannot conceive of how a human could be so shamelessly vile towards another human, especially a human that they are involved with, related to or know personally. So our system goes into a type of shock just trying to process the level of cold shit that went down. We must be careful during this emotional shock phase: our defences are lowered in terms of physical strength, immunity and nervous system activity. It’s harder to think straight and we often get a mental loop of the awful behaviour because our brains just can’t believe what went down. We can’t believe it because we would never do it and it’s actually impossible to understand because the kind of mind that can be highly insensitive, cruel or unethical is so removed from who we are. So of course it makes no sense, of course it’s shocking. Take the time to process and remember who you are. You are kind and ethical and it’s no reflection on you. Better things are always ahead. The shock will pass. Good things await you.

January 30, 2024

Be your number one fan!

Appreciation from others is a wonderful thing, if we get it. It’s like the bonus. But are you a fan of yourself? Are you THE number one fan of yourself? All you have to do is be excited by all the things you do, give a bit of cheerleading to yourself and remind yourself how awesome you are (well, it’s true!) every time you glimpse the mirror or do a task. Think of how we are with pets or children! Everything becomes an opportunity to admire and praise. Being a number one fan means dumping the criticism and self-doubt and seeing yourself through rosy lenses like a true fan would. Interpreting things positively, getting excited about what you’ll do or see next and being super-forgiving about any perceived error or shortcoming. Why reserve fandom for strangers? Give it to yourself. A small move in the direction of being the number one fan of YOU will bring many pleasant changes. Start with some admiring words for yourself and keep on it!

January 29, 2024

It’s working out:

Imagine that today is already working out. You could even imagine being home later on and saying to yourself or another person “today went really well actually!” Everything in nature is already working cooperatively towards the highest good, and you’re a part of nature too, as we all are. Switch off all unnecessary inner alerts and allow everything to sort itself out with just the right input from you, no more, no less, and no worry or tension. Later on you’ll be surprised and pleased about how clear and calm you’ve been, and how easy it was. Enjoy today.

January 25, 2024

Your permission slip:

You are hereby granted immediate permission to be who you are, to feel what you feel, to move towards what YOU want and to give less fuxks in general, especially about what “they” might think. Use this in the way that will be best for you today and feel free to carry it forward.

January 24, 2024

Nothing bothers you.

Being less bothered means being less stressed and it means preserving motivated energy. We need to help re-train the mind to be less reactive to unnecessary things. Affirm today that nothing bothers you now, nothing disturbs you, all events remain at low alert on your radar, your nervous system can stay in a state of equanimity, or equilibrium, your mind is hermetically sealed into calm and you can detach and watch whatever goes on while making excellent choices. Nothing bothers you. Calm is king.

January 23, 2024

Your mission is to be fully you:

Your only mission today is to be fully and completely yourself. You have a magic cocktail of energy, spark and outlook, with unique gifts that only you bring to this world. Forget perceived societal norms and imagined external judgements, true power comes with authenticity and openness. This is the time to be fully in alignment with yourself and do what you need to do with boldness and sensitivity. Listen well and speak only what is truthful and useful. Bring your unique full self to the day and allow yourself to relax into it all. Good things await.

January 22, 2024

Anticipating:

Anticipation is a cocktail of sensations. It often contains a dash of nerves, a fleeting flash in the stomach, a spark of adrenaline, a punch of uneasiness and a glimmer of excitement. We can label this experience in many different ways, thereby creating a secondary emotion that will feed and grow. Language, both in the mind and out loud, creates our reality. We should choose our experience labels with great care. Generally we will feel best if we code these sensations as excitement, and we want to feel good as much as possible, so excitement is a reasonable choice of labels. It’s ok to be excited and it’s ok to have mixed or complex feelings. Notice your sensations today and be conscious of labeling them in an accurate way that helps your outlook. You can relax and know that today is already moving towards better things.

December 21, 2023

Holiday stuff:

Holiday stuff seems to come up at these times of year. It might be about meeting expectations (ours or others), pressure to do or be something we don’t want, difficult family dynamics, exhaustion or lack of energy to approach it all, reciprocity issues, unmet needs, heightened defences and possibly even going back into old family patterns that we thought we’d left behind. Please chill. It is what it is, we are who we are. All we can do is show up, on time, with a good attitude. The rest will be what it will be. If family is complicated, then watch as if from afar, like a docudrama playing out in front of you. Check expectations. People can only operate at the level to which they are equipped or capable. I vote for Holiday Zen, which means letting go of attachment to how it should be, and allowing it to just be what it is. And then, letting it go. Start Holiday Zen now!

December 20, 2023

Outsource the issue:

Whatever that issue is, whatever the problem to be solved, outsource it. We humans are not as adept as we think at designing solutions. In fact, many of our “solutions” create further problems due to our limited understanding. Most things are eventually managed by themselves, or by nature. If we can allow it, most things sort themselves out and the stuff we spend worry time on would appear to be unhelpful. If we can morph worry into deciding to trust nature and/or the future to take care of us and our loved ones and other big decisions then we might find a dash more inner peace. Next time a worry seed pops up in the soil, don’t water it, turn away and put trust in nature and inevitable flow of natural solutions.

December 19, 2023

Seed and feed good thoughts:

If we want more good-feeling thoughts, we need to seed them. We seed them by consciously choosing what we need to loop on repeat, or use as a mantra. It may be as simple as a word (optimism!) or a phrase (it all works out!). It needs to be something that resonates. Then we feed those thoughts with reminders and extensions, perhaps reasons to think that way or evidence from the past. Feeding solidifies the thought and extends it into related areas. By consciously seeding and feeding we keep our minds in the better-feeling zone. Reach for a better-feeling thought seed any time you need to, then feed it with sunshine and water.

December 18, 2023

The message of Optimism:

The attraction to Optimism is powerful. Even the word itself speaks volumes, creating a feeling of upward movement, of possibilities and of quickened mental processes. The word Optimism can be used as a mantra, any time you need that sense of heightened awareness and excitement to power you forward mentally or emotionally, perhaps even physically. Your brain knows exactly what it means for you today, and will divert the Optimism message to where it is needed. Just say the word and take that power wherever it is needed now. Optimism is with you.

December 15, 2023

Help for weary brain:

If your brain is a little weary, needs a little rest and recovery, or even a soft reboot, then listen now, no need to think, or process, just passively allowing your eyes to glide comfortably over my words, as I speak to you, your inner mind, that’s right, the inner mind can pay attention while the rest of you just drifts, pleasantly, perhaps in a haze, letting the conscious mind fully relax, letting go, as you slowly breathe in, and holding, and now letting go, tension easing, letting all guards down now, nothing to do, or fix, or prove, just allowing the mind to feel blank, taking a load off, and releasing all mental burdens, attach them now to helium balloons and let them go, flying high and away from you now, back to the ether they came from, and you can return to now, just looking, and being, and allowing all to be well. It is.

December 14, 2023

Forecast of catastrophe??

Some anxiety is physical. It starts with bodily sensations and the fearful thoughts escalate it to greater heights. The antidote to physically generated anxiety is to learn to react neutrally (even with eye rolling!) to the sensations. This often needs coaching or hypnosis to assist. Mind-generated anxiety, which may be accompanied by physical sensations but begins with a frightening thought or event, needs mind-altering thoughts to stop the loop. Usually the thought involves a forecast of catastrophe: we imagine some worst-case version of the future, none of which has happened yet. The antidote is to return only to NOW. Which problem needs to be solved right now. Usually it’s none. And if there is one, it’s one small step towards getting things together in the plan. Come back to now. Now is usually fine and can be even better with one step in a plan. Leave the future forecasts to those with functional crystal balls. The rest of us: back to the now.

December 13, 2023

Stretched too far?

Many people are feeling a sense of having been too stretched, too pushed, having to go hard to get over the line. Many personal events, unexpected mishaps, world events, and just life in general can be very depleting at times and yet our expectations of ourselves (and perhaps the demands from others) remain high. Please give your mind little mini-breaks often. Stop. Close your eyes. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Think of nature, holding the planets in place and managing everything, sunrise, sunset, sky, flora and fauna, quite effortlessly. See if you can get into a zone of feeling carried along by nature, doing only what is truly needed and not beyond. Remember: you doing your thing at 50% capacity is probably enough right now. Try and ride the tail-wind today.

December 12, 2023

Inner-battle awareness:

We notice our own inner battles but tend to forget the inner turmoil of others. Most people we meet are going through something that isn’t visible on social media, and perhaps not obviously visible in life. Whatever people do or do not do has much more to do with where they’re at than about you. Don’t personalise anything; everyone else has an inner world that is running the show. Let’s stay in our lanes today and maintain inner-battle awareness.

December 11, 2023

Might be ok!

Whatever it is, it might be ok, it might even be better than you think. Expectations are very powerful. While it can certainly be unhelpful to have unrealistic expectations, we can decide to expect that all will be ok, and that we can handle it. This is realistic. And it’s also realistic to note that it could be better than we expect. Acknowledging the possibility of it being better is both factual and uplifting. May you be filled with effective and realistic optimism today!

December 8, 2023

Brain relief:

I want you to just imagine, for a moment, that by asking your brain to relax and slow down, that now, here, as you breathe in, and hold, and now letting go, and your brain is listening, hearing my calm helpful words, and your eyes glued much more smoothly as you read them here, easing, just taking hold of that dial, and lowering the pressure on all things, on all beings, you are part of nature, no need to constantly think, nature relaxes, trusts in the process, all things in their season now, it is, and it’s your season to have some calm happy brain, all your efforts are rewarded and you can bask in the sunshine of relief, no pressure, nothing to prove, just the warm inner knowing of you and your unique gifts, many resources, better day by day, always one with nature and able to appreciate all the good aspects now, relaxing. All is well.

December 7, 2023

Bad review for Worry:

Worry gets a one star review as a coping strategy. Once it starts, it feeds on itself, multiplies and makes new worry babies over and over, with no relief. It’s like growing prickles instead of plants everywhere in the house. The antidote tools for worry begin with making the worry specific. Most worry is vague, often more a dread feeling than a thought. So get specific. What is the actual problem to be solved? Can you solve it? If so, what’s the plan, step by step? Most worries are in fact about unknown or uncertain things such as the actions of others or certain potential unwanted outcomes. It’s the “it can all turn to shit so fast” type worry. In these instances we can do nothing to control the situation so we must use tools to control our minds. There is no real action planning beyond agreeing to take things as they come and agreeing to trust in both our own resources and in the universal forces which will come to our aid, as nature always does. So we shift focus to what we appreciate in our life, in others, in ourselves, in our environment, in books, music, pets, anything at all. Focus on inner resources and strengths and actual positive aspects around us. Keep the mind grounded in five star rated good places and please leave the one star worry strategy alone. Start now.

December 6, 2023

Driving on a half tank?

Many people are sitting on low fuel right now. The end of the year has many pressures ranging from personal to professional, social to emotional, as well as a lower supply of physical energy. Resolve to challenge the pressures and demands to see what outgoings you can reduce. You don’t have to go to things or do things; you don’t have to get things done by a certain date unless absolutely necessary (and mostly it isn’t). And even if you’re running on 30% tank capacity, your 30% may be more effective than many people’s 100% tank. Be allowing of wherever you’re at. You give plenty but you don’t have to go right into deficit. It’s ok to say we’ve hit capacity and need a recharge. May your tank be enough for today. Refuel time is coming.

December 5, 2023

False messages of fear

Most of our false messages of fear are generated by a state of uncertainty. As a society we have become quite intolerant of uncertainty and in the face of ambiguity, we need to be in control, to *know* what is going on or what is going to happen. Fear is generally a lack of trust in ourselves, others or the unfolding of events. To increase our tolerance of uncertainty, we best stay in the now, where things are ok. Most of our fears lie in the unknown future, so if we come back to what is true right now, fear levels subside. Especially if we return to something we like about right now, or even something neutral such as breathing in, breathing out. Most fear has a false message of chaos, calamity or catastrophe. Return to the truth of the present moment where is all ok. The only thing that is true right now is a person reading these words.

December 4, 2023

The patience project

Most of us are not patient by nature but rather it’s something we cultivate daily. Patience means trusting that the thing will happen in its own time and deciding to allow that time within ourselves. Many of us are full of anxious control patterns, wanting to dig up the seed to check on its growth instead of just doing our job, sunlight and water, then watching appreciatively as nature transforms seed to plant. Please allow all seeds to grow without human interference today, knowing that nature outsmarts us all and that once we’ve seeded an idea, we can always have trust in the process.

December 1, 2023

Inner mind reminders:

I want you to listen now, and allow your eyes to gaze at my helpful words, gazing almost like you are in a dreamy state, off into the distance, and yet also fully present, inner mind wide awake and ready for what it is that you truly need to hear, need to know, all information on a need to know basis, and what you need to know, right now, is to be calm, to breathe, in, holding, slowly out, that’s right, all things in perfect order, nature organises it all, everything in its correct place, whether we see the natural perfection or not, knowing that it already exists, right place, right time, right action, or no action, nothing to do, nothing to prove, unique and perfect as is, like the trees and stars, this is your time and you get to choose, peace, calm, light, content, and appreciation of what is, staying in now and allowing what is to constantly expand into better and better for you now, you are, and it’s all ok. Go peacefully.

November 30, 2023

Too much responsibility??

This is a pattern we see a lot in psych land. It happens in many eldest children, especially eldest daughters, although it can happen in any family. It’s the pattern of internalised responsibility, or over-responsibility. It means that automatically, subconsciously, if there is a perception of anything wrong, the “job” is then find and fix, mainly in others. If important others and all required tasks are ok, then it’s calm but that rarely happens. This internalised role includes (but isn’t limited to) being hyper vigilant towards the moods or emotions of others, as well as any social, physical or emotional discomfort or health gap. The result of this inner vigilance and need to restore harmony includes people pleasing, anxiety and exhaustion. There is also a danger of being attracted to people or situations with “potential” instead of noticing and assessing what actually is. The antidote is knowing boundaries: what is my job, what isn’t my job; my stuff versus their stuff. Awareness is key. Balance compassion and responsibility today.

November 29, 2023

Listen Carefully:

Please repeat after me. It’s all ok. It’s all under control. You can relax. You are safe. It’s all good.

November 28, 2023

Whatever you think you’re arguing about:

When we argue with people (often partners or family), it’s usually not about whatever we think it’s about. We might think it’s about housework or money or politics but underneath every argument is fear of an unmet need, or two sets of unmet needs. What we are really fighting for is control/power (who is right or who knows best), recognition/respect (needing to be seen, heard and have my needs understood) and trust (am I safe with you, do you have my back). Think about whatever recurring argument themes there are and ask yourself which of the three you are really fighting for. Is it control, unmet recognition needs or trust/safety. Sometimes it’s a combination of the above. But please remember, when it’s a recurring argument, it’s never really about the dishes.

November 27, 2023

Just do progress!

Nothing has to be perfect today or ever. Just do some progress. Any progress or action is a win. Progress can be getting up, or reading, or making a step towards something that needs to be done, or talking to somebody, or taking some breaths for inner calm, or stopping to appreciate something in the environment, inside or outside. Anything is progress, and any progress deserves inner celebration. Progress promotes motivation and optimism, the sense of can-do. Keep your intentions realistic and feel good about any tiny percentage of progress. It counts.

November 24, 2023

Alignment:

If you’ve been feeling a little out of sync, tune in now, here, to my friendly words, as I speak to you, directly to your inner mind, and you can breathe in, listening, holding, and now letting go as you breathe out, easy, loosening all tension, just letting those muscles relax, all mind cells relaxing too, they do, and all fear and worry dissolving now, as your inner mind meditates and drifts, drifting pleasantly as your inner eye gazes into the horizon, knowing now that everything is already aligned perfectly, we release all tension and we synchronise with nature, all things in place, like all trees and stars and birds we are part of the greater whole, moving together in peace. Move forward with ease today.

November 23, 2023

Thank you and Sorry:

In any relationship, most things will be improved with more thank you and and more sorry. Thank you is for everything, big and small. Many people feel that they do so much for the other and shouldn’t have to “thank them for everyday things”. It’s not a have-to, it’s a relationship add-on. It’s not about tit for tat or keeping score; those who keep score usually find themselves in resentment. Add bonus thank you as much as possible because everyone likes more appreciation and it feels good to give appreciation. Sorry is about acknowledgement and commitment to do better. Being willing to say sorry for big and small things is also a crucial relationship skill and can dissolve much resentment when given in the right way at the right time, along with a stated commitment to do better. Check your thank you and sorry counts and remember their importance to everyone, at a deep level. Within reason (and in consideration of appropriate boundaries), don’t wait to receive, be willing to give.

November 22, 2023

Remain open.

Openness means being receptive. It means not forming rigid views, being willing to consider multiple perspectives and take input from many different places. When the mind is closed it has decided how things are and reduced possibilities. There are always more perspectives and one of the purposes of an education is to know how much we DON’T know, and that there is rarely one right answer or method. Whether it’s the big issues or the small decisions of life, commit to remaining open. Another view, another way, another person, another time, another possibility. Our openness helps us connect to optimism and future-orientation. May the gates of the mind be suitably flexible today.

November 21, 2023

Let the mind be still:

With many things going on, we humans tend to assume we need to constantly go over it in our minds, asking questions of the situation, look at all the options or possible outcomes and then go over it all yet again. In truth, our best ideas or knowings come when the mind is still. The creative process demands that we think about a situation deeply but briefly, then forget it and wait for wisdom to arrive during relaxation of mind. The best wisdom never comes from a tense worried mind. Be aware of that human “thinking in circles” tendency and remind the mind to relax, so as to let the answers come through on a clear channel all by themselves, without our human interference!

November 20, 2023

Positivity signs:

Despite everything, all signs point to a positive outcome. If you look around, there are many positivity indicators, many things going well, many things to appreciate and keep front of mind. It’s easy to get caught up in the other stuff, but just for today, notice the positives and absorb the optimism that comes from being connected to the good aspects. There are many.

November 17, 2023

Mind de-clutter:

You know, and I know too, that perhaps the mind has been a little cluttered, a little crowded, a little too much going on in there, so just breathe, take a long deep relaxation breath, holding, waiting, now let it go, release all the clutter, all the stuff, let it flow out the window in a puff of coloured steam, that’s right, and you can see the space lighting up, free, clean, new and ready to use for whatever you need. Enjoy.

November 16, 2023

Are you a fixer?

Being a fixer personality is great for getting tasks done. It’s usually highly valued in a work setting, as it’s associated with high self-motivation, self-development orientation, solution focus and high conscientiousness. In personal relationships though, it may be a sticky pattern at times. Fixers can sometimes feel too responsible for others. They can at times see the “potential” in others and forget that a person is “as is”; that means that whatever the behavioural pattern is now (for an adult) will probably be an ongoing pattern unless that person themselves really, really, really wants to make a major change and puts in major, consistent effort. Fixers often see what “could be”, which can lead to ignoring red flags in new situations or relationships. The other aspect of being a fixer is the potential to see problems that are not yours to fix and maybe ignoring what is in fact going well. Being too oriented towards fixing and helping may serve well in task-related matters but please consider whether it may lead to blind spots in other areas.

November 15, 2023

Immunity ok??

We need to keep both our physical and our emotional immune systems in top form, especially when things have been stressful. Physically we need to sleep 6-8 hours, eat healthy nutritious food, drink water and fluids, get enough leisure/down time, watch caffeine levels and get the right amount of exercise for our body type. For emotional immunity we need our personalised right balance between action and rest, people and space, intimacy and distance, work and fun, as well as meeting our personal needs for appreciation, validation, support, love, growth, challenge, creativity, security and freedom. We also need to limit (or eliminate at times) social media and news intake. Would you add to this list? What helps your physical and emotional immunity? Wishing you great power today.

November 14, 2023

A dash of overwhelm??

Sometimes there’s a little too much overwhelm in the recipe, and the physical and emotional effects are unpleasant. With overwhelm, we’ve let something build, to the point where the perceived pressures or demands have overtaken our internal resources. Go back to the demands and pressures. Write them down. Are we trying to control the uncontrollable? Do we just need to stick to the facts of the situation and focus only on our lane? Usually with overwhelm we are focusing on factors we have little control over. Narrowing the focus to just the facts, and just our part of the action is a start. Next step is to only do tiny steps. Delay other steps or outsource them. Chunk down and just do the small thing that you can do. Let the pressure drop and know it’s ok. And it is.

November 13, 2023

Monday mood boost!

Which positive words could you use more of today, both about yourself and events? Which person could you speak to or message or think of, a person that always brings a smile to your face? Which outcome can you move towards today? Even if it’s one step? And what soundtrack will you choose to give you the boost you want? The resources are there, let’s take little tiny steps to feel ok or better than ok today!

November 10, 2023

Still mind:

Send your mind, your deepest inner mind, here now, to my calming words, easing as I talk to you, releasing the need to hold on to whatever is stuck, just letting go as you listen to me, as you breathe slowly in, holding, and now releasing it all as you breathe out here, relaxing all the little muscles, you can let go while holding on, allowing a part of your mind to gaze dreamily into the distance, seeing the bigness of the universe, and you, part of nature, an importance piece in the universe, nobody just like you, unique and powerful, you are, and you can be filled with the strength you need for today, and tomorrow, all the tomorrows, and you can go forward in still mind, with all resources in place. It is.

November 9, 2023

Filled with light:

May your mind be filled with light today. Light brings clarity, shining the torch into what may have been the dark corners and illuminating all that good stuff. Light brings wisdom and perspective. Light brings an ability to see and feel what is helpful and useful. Turn that light on and keep it as bright as needed today.

November 8, 2023

Calm still.

Whatever it is, dial it back. Decide to be calm still. The mind and body work best from a place of calm and the right solution will present itself when you’re not looking. Forget the alert, turn it off. Be calm still.

November 7, 2023

Take it easy.

Take it easy today. Ignore most thoughts. Take in only friendly or neutral input. Give yourself a break and do what you do without pressure or expectation. It’s ok to chill.

November 6, 2023

Operate only to capacity!

Check your capacity today. How’s your energy? Your emotional state? Your level of rest and recovery? Your enthusiasm? Your strength? When we check our fuel gauge, we should adjust our journey according to the results. No pushing beyond capacity today! Just cruise with the juice you’ve got, and don’t run to empty. Take a few easy routes and keep a little in reserve for later. You’re good enough and you do enough. Take care of you today.

November 3, 2023

Brain-clearing:

If you’d like a little more free space in the mind, then take my invitation, as I invite you to glide over my words now, slowing both eyes and mind, you breathe in, more slowly, hold, and now exhale my friend, allowing all tension to flow away with each relaxing out-breath, freely, that’s right, letting those little muscles in the neck and shoulders just melt into softness, stomach relaxes too, you can, and there are many things I can say, and many things you can do, or not do, you get to choose now, and you could choose to send a crew to the mind, perhaps a cleaning crew, or a crew to open things right up in there, open the windows, letting the cool air in, everything circulating well, all corners and spaces sparkling clean, so much more clear space, you can move, or think, or do, or not do, or rest more, you can, the mind has space and time, all is on track, you are fine, and you can move forward with confidence today. It is.

November 2, 2023

Welcome what is.

Life is a series of experiences, some leading to pleasant feelings, and some not so much. As with all of nature, we go through seasons, some sunny and some stormy. If we want more internal equanimity (calm composure) then we need to focus less on control and more on acceptance. We cannot control other people and we cannot control some circumstances. But we can accept. Acceptance doesn’t mean we chose what’s happened or that we like it. But as in nature, we can take a welcoming stance to what is, allowing it to be as it is, rather than resisting it, just as the animals and birds and plants do with the change of seasons or circumstances. We can relax into it. It is, so we adapt. While the phrase “it is what it is” can seem like a trite cliche, there are times to inwardly state that truth. It is what it is and some aspects can be changed or managed, and the rest can be accepted and welcomed. Drop the weapons and welcome what is today. It’s all ok.

November 1, 2023

The time thieves:

Our devices are changing our brain patterns. Some of the changes feel positive; we can amuse ourselves and retrieve information quickly and we probably think it’s freeing up the brain. In fact, studies show phone use is causing more multi tasking and acting as a time/attention thief. Firstly, research shows we interrupt ourselves and try to multi task when on our devices, lowering the average time spent on a task by up to 50% and reducing our IQ by 5 points for females and 15% for males (according to research). Despite our beliefs, we are not as productive or competent when multitasking. In addition, we have created what psychologists now call idleness aversion, checking social media or other apps when we could be relaxing or socialising, and when trying to do a task we’re not looking forward to. Devices are great but let’s take some control and stop the cognitive traffic jams they can lead to, as well as the time thievery. Let’s take the best parts and be more conscious of use.

October 31, 2023

It’s ok not to know.

We don’t have all the answers. In fact, usually, the people who claim to have all the answers have quite strong opinions and are unwilling to admit they don’t understand the full complexity. To have a strong opinion, one must disregard all other perspectives. Generally, the most intelligent perspective is to know that we do not know. We may have some of the information about people or events or history, but we only see what we look for or what we are shown. It’s good to know that we actually don’t know anything for sure. It’s part of wisdom and it’s part of humility. And it sure takes the pressure off too. Be ok with not knowing things today. It’s human and it’s real.

October 30, 2023

Minimal expectations:

Today is a day to take pressure off yourself. Minimise any expectations and go about your day quietly and with a peaceful mind. Manage any external distractions and stay away from any news or drama if possible. Let your mind take a breath. It’s ok.

October 27, 2023

Resting mind state:

As you allow your eyes to gently move across my words, as I speak to you, and you can just breathe, really taking in that deep breath, and holding, and now exhale my friend, breathing out all tension, all worries, all the mess that isn’t even yours, all the energies you have taken on from others, and from the world, releasing it now, smoothly, easily, just letting yourself go into resting mind state, no need to think, or decide, or argue, or do anything, simply just being, right here, just be here now, in the calm clear peace, allowing yourself to stay in that gear of resting mind state, all the good things come from a resting mind, it’s all there for you, and it all belongs to you, and it is you, and your mind can rest anytime, anywhere, it is, and you will notice much more good today. Enjoy.

October 26, 2023

Great job!!

Just in case nobody has said anything lately, this message is to remind you that you are doing a great job! In a complex and multi-faceted life, it can feel like “success” is always a long way off but in fact it’s right here, already happening. All those things you do, the learning, the thinking, the various kinds of tasks, the care and concern, the kindness, the empathy, the surviving of so many things, at a local and global level. Seriously, great job. It’s tricky to be a human these days with all the crazy expectations we load upon our mere mortal selves, and yet you’re doing it. Good on you and please take in the compliment. You’ve earned it.

October 25, 2023

Micro Harmony:

While the big picture might be very chaotic, we can always move towards micro harmony within. We begin by pausing, breathing, anywhere, anytime and repeating one phrase until we feel something shift inside. One phrase that helps harmony is “thank you, thank you, thank you” over and over. You can say it quickly or make it long and slow. If you close your eyes, or stare into space and repeat “thank you” long enough, something will shift or relax inside. Similarly, if you just repeat another favorite phrase like “peace, peace, peace”, there will be an inner shift. Clear the mind of other stuff and focus on a word that brings you micro harmony today.

October 24, 2023

World overwhelm:

Many are feeling world overwhelm at the present time. Phases happen where everything can seem very chaotic and destructive, and we can begin to question our humanity and its future. In phases like this, the way through is via peace. If every human was focused on peace and goodwill, then our world would be very different. While this is highly unlikely, the more of us that are focused on peace, goodwill and wisdom, the more this state permeates humanity in general. Start with one. See the oneness in humans. Feel the inner peace and project peace to all humans. Feel the goodwill and wish good to all humans. When we feel helpless, we focus on the only thing we can do: our own state of peace. Peace in one can lead to peace in many. May you be a generator of peace and goodwill today.

October 23, 2023

Calm clarity:

Instead of getting caught up in the hurry and worry today, let’s direct the mind towards calm clarity. With calm, we have more inner peace. Pause. Take a breath. Remember that the universe is under the care of nature and will return to some kind of balance or equilibrium. With clarity we see what is real and what is not. We see what needs to be actioned and when we can wait. We see what is ours and what belongs to others. Saying the words CALM CLARITY will help take you there and keep you there. Ease the mind into the calm clear state today and watch everything begin to improve. It will.

October 20, 2023

Inner freedom:

Whatever might be constricting you now, and we all have things that we chew over, or worry about, instead, I want you to pause here, take a long deep breath, remembering to forget concerns for just a minute, breathing out, and as you do breathe out, you can be right here, listening carefully with your inner mind, the inner mind is curious and ready, as I speak to you, reminding you to stay in that special inner circle, the circle of freedom within you, that part that is always alive, on duty, always bright, like a little pilot light that flames and flames away quietly, peacefully, lighting the way, steadfast despite all the external world chaos, that peace is always there within, remembering now to tune in, and that peace has been with you always, and it will be there until the end of time, bright, alive, and free, and your inner mind now helps you remember, with every powerful in-breath, to make contact with that light of freedom within, so you can stay solid in who you are, and go gently into the world to do your part. It is.

October 19, 2023

How humility helps:

Humility helps us manage our expectations of ourselves as well as our expectations of others. If we can keep those expectations balanced then we are less likely to be judgemental and critical of ourselves and more likely to hold both ourselves and others in high regard despite our flaws and inadequacies. We are, after all, humans and not perfect robot versions of ourselves. We accept the complexities within our pets, and often in children, yet sometimes lack the humility to accept the complexities within our adult selves. Humility means “I don’t know it all”. Humility says “I always have much to learn”. Humility means I don’t always have to have an opinion or offer something to every situation. Humility means I know I may be wrong in what I think or do, and if I make a mistake, it’s ok; I can apologise and aim to do better. Humility means I’m as human as everyone else and nobody is better or worse as a person. Humility means we can actually accept ourselves in entirety instead of always expecting this idealised “best self” rubbish. We can aim to be kind, and ethical, and show up, on time, to do what we said we would do. Sometimes it will be great, sometimes not. And that’s ok. Humility can accept the “whatever” of it. Humility helps us feel good because we’re always good enough as is. And that’s a lot.

October 18, 2023

Feelings of exhaustion:

Exhausted feelings are disconcerting. Not sleeping well is disappointing, as is waking up still feeling tired. We imagine that we should wake up feeling good, and energised but in truth most people do not, so perhaps morning tiredness is more the norm than the exception. When we feel tired, our strategy has to be first and foremost about adjusting our expectations. Our brain may be slower or less clear, our energy limited, our temper a bit less tolerant. All normal, especially with a period of chronic tiredness. Next step is to not do the five Fs that will make it worse. If we FOCUS on it (eg by saying how tired we are to ourselves a lot) it will feel worse. Trying to FIX it with sugar or caffeine will make it worse by disrupting chemistry for the next night. FEARING the tiredness (why am I tired, how long will this go on) also extends the bad feelings. Getting mentally FRUSTRATED with it also adds more agitation, as does FIGHTING it by pushing yourself too hard. The five Fs can be replaced with bringing the mind back to calm acceptance and reassurance. It is what it is. And it will be ok, many people are very tired today and they will be ok too. Take yourself by the hand as though you would a small child, and gently coax yourself through the day with no pressure to be anything or impress anyone. It is what it is, and you will be ok if you take things one at a time. You’ve got this.

October 17, 2023

Will they change??

Change often depends on whether it’s a problem or it’s a personality. Often we hear of people expecting others to change by force of personal will, as though it’s simple to change life patterns by just deciding to. Even in therapy, change takes time and work, even when there’s a specific problem. Understanding a why a problem exists often isn’t enough to make it change, we need to change thoughts, actions and habitual emotional patterns. But if it’s more of a personality type than a specific problem, then it is less likely to shift much over time. Those of us who are high in self-awareness, empathy and motivation can determine to change our patterns and we can get results with time and effort. But if you’re banking on seeing change in a non-motivated person without that driven self-awareness then perhaps it’s better to change expectations. Sometimes we need to think about accepting that the person is AS IS, especially when it comes to relationships. With that reality check, we can decide what is right for us.

October 16, 2023

Blinkers on:

It’s ok to narrow our focus and put the blinkers on. Focus determines where we put our attention at any moment, and from there what we focus on determines both meaning and subsequent action. Putting focus on the breath can remind us that we are safe, that breath is life, that we can breathe in good while breathing out any tension or concern. We can focus on nature, only choosing to look at the sky, our pets, trees, the sea or other elements. If everything gets too big, put the blinkers on and choose your focus to narrow it down. You’re ok. All is ok.

October 13, 2023

Revitalise!

As you stare at my words, begin to actually look right through the words, to the space underneath, gazing with a dreamy state, that’s right, as you breathe in slowly, say “breathe” in your mind, and hold it, and hold it more, now let it go, exhale my friend, and say “releasing” in your mind, as you do release all the pent up stuff, the gunk, the worries and all the tension, simply allowing it to exit and move the f**k on, enough now, you want to feel good, time to revitalise, you can, breathing in that powered-up fuel, high-grade oxygen, clearing the mind, strengthening the body, giving you that memory of being so kickass, you are, you will, powerful and strong, focused and doing exactly what you need to do, no more, no less, just happily powering through your life, you enjoy your life and your people and all is well. Go on.

October 12, 2023

Navigating burnout:

There are times when everything happens at once or happens for too long, or doesn’t happen the way we want it too, or is too exhausting, or out of control or just too much. It’s human to have burnout at these times. It’s physical: it can affect sleep, energy, pain, immunity, appetite and reactivity. It’s cognitive: it can be hard to think clearly or make decisions or remember names or even remember why you went into that room. It’s emotional: it can be harder to feel pleasure, it can give you that pointless treadmill feeling, it can be harder to get started on things, socialising can feel just too much, everything feels aggravating, patience and tolerance is very hard to generate and tears or panic or anger can kick in more easily. Most people just want it to stop, which is understandable. And yet, it’s the body’s natural human built-in alarm system. Are we listening? We can keep going for a bit but when burnout symptoms really kick in, it means something needs to change. More of something (rest, space, good nutrition, time to self, etc) and less of something else (less work, less caffeine or other stimulants, less pressure on self, less trying to meet unreasonable expectations, etc). Decoding the guidance messages of burnout is crucial and sometimes we all need help working out a plan, because the stress of it can blind our wisdom and stop us seeing what we really need to do or stop doing. Please listen to system signals and don’t keep driving when your engine warning lights are activated.

October 11, 2023

Radical acceptance method:

If there is a circumstance or feeling we absolutely cannot change, and we want to feel less angst about it, there is a method. It’s called radical acceptance. It’s radical because most of the world prefers to stay in resentment or victim consciousness, with the mind firmly in complaint mode about how wrong or awful or unfair it is. That too is a valid choice. But if we want to feel better we need to make the switch to saying “it is what it is”. The next step is to say “it’s ok as is” and then “I will do what is necessary given what is”. Rather than push against what is, we acknowledge, accept and take on what is, keeping it to the bare facts. It’s a continual process as the mind jumps back to wanting to resist or avoid, and we can gently come back to acceptance each time. Decide to be a radical accepter when necessary. This is an energy saving method that aims for neutrality or equanimity in the face of difficulty. May you radically accept if required today.

October 10, 2023

Speak your truth, with love:

If the relationship matters, then the truth matters. If something is on your mind enough to affect the relationship, then it’s time to speak your truth. We speak the truth with love by choosing our timing, choosing our words, and doing our best to send the message in a kind, non-accusing format that can be heard and understood by our loved person. To not speak the truth can mean a build up of both anxiety and resentment which can eventually lead to disconnection and detachment. Speaking truth gives the issue a chance to be aired, discussed and resolved. It may take time and may be initially uncomfortable but there’s a good chance it will lead to a stronger connection based on improved openness. The first step is to speak truth to yourself about what you feel. Mull it over, get advice if required (to make sure it’s a relationship thing and not a momentary irrational fixation) then engage in true intimacy by speaking loving truth. You’re doing it for the relationship. Stand up for the relationship when it matters by stating succinctly, calmly and kindly how you feel.

October 9, 2023

My stuff/not my stuff:

Things we are concerned with are divided into two categories: within my lane and outside of my purview. Wisdom lies in knowing the difference. There are people who cannot see that events lie in their lane which means we are responsible and accountable for those things. However, responsible people usually have trouble with the other bits, the “not my stuff” and the “not in my purview”. That is the realm of other people and circumstance. Let’s focus on the “our stuff” part, stay in our lane and let the other people manage the stuff in their lanes. We can be kind, we can offer help, and we can also know it’s up to them and all anyone can act upon is what is within their own lane. Staying in our lane boosts optimism because that’s the stuff we can act upon! Stay calmly in that zone of influence today.

October 7, 2023

Renewal:

As you take a long deep breath of relaxation, let the gliding of your eyes slow down now, that’s right, everything easing, deep breath in, and hold it, hold it still, now breathing out, letting go all the old stuff, anything no longer useful, it’s all released in that exhale, and every time you exhale, my friend, you can relax a little deeper, knowing that in all those trillion cells inside, renewal is working away, every cell oxygenating, powering up, casting off anything unwanted, or unneeded, that’s right, every cell emerging from every breath now, cleaner, clearer, calmer, and with great confidence, and it all belongs to you, and it is you, and it’s all perfect, exactly what you need now, all there and nothing for you to worry about or do or prove, just relax and enjoy. Renewal is.

October 5, 2023

Be conscious about focus:

Most people let their internal focus be hijacked by whatever is in front of them. Deliberate or conscious focus can be even more challenging for those of us with attention deficit or neurodivergent traits. And yet focus is like a muscle, we can decide to strengthen it. Our first step is awareness of focus: in which direction is our mind pointed right now? And where would we prefer it to be pointed? Focus is like a laser, if directed at one spot it has great power and clarity. The CEO within our own mind must stop and think about what the best point of focus is right now. Is it listening to a person? Is it a key task? Is it on a list of actions that must all be done in order? Is it on peace, or harmony, or appreciation, or love, or truth? Choosing our most important focus point is an ongoing life skill. It doesn’t come naturally for most but we can decide to hone our skills by having our focus point in mind and gently directing ourselves back on track when we start to drift. Beware of focus hijacks from other people or from technology or social media. Hone in on your preferred conscious focus today.

October 4, 2023

Peace moment:

During the events your day, and starting with this moment, take a breath and remember peace. Maybe peace is a thought, a feeling, a word, an image of tranquility, a reminder of a person, pet or place, anything that symbolizes inner and outer peace to your mind. Peace is within a deep breath. Breathe now and connect to inner peace whenever needed.

October 3, 2023

So what do you want??

There are people that are low-level disgruntled, maybe a bit pissed off and feeling like their life is a bit meh. That’s ok. We all have these phases and maybe they exist to push us into asking what we actually want and need. When we are in meh, there is something missing. It might be a lack of peace, a lack of alone time or space, lack of ability to recharge, and quite often a lack of fun. Enjoyment and contentment and fun are all different places to be and most of us need a balance all of them. So if things aren’t quite right, take charge and ask yourself: what do I need? What do I want? Schedule it in, even if it can only be mini-doses. Decide to be at cause instead of being at effect and initiate something to make your life better today.

October 2, 2023

Positive power shot:

Here is your daily shot of positive power. You can swallow it or drink it or take it in any way you like. The power of positivity reminds our mind to look for the good aspects, and remember to feel some appreciation for them. It can be in your cup of tea, or your view out of the window, or in the enthusiasm of your pet. It can be in people you will see or will remember in your mind. It can be from reflecting on the past or anticipating the future, or just being in enjoyment right now. There are seeds of positivity all around and you can plant them and allow them to take root and flourish. Enjoy your positivity shot and drink freely.

September 29, 2023

Something for you:

For this moment, in this day full of possibilities, take a moment now, slowing, to take one deep breath, holding, and now, even more slowly, releasing that breath, and with it, releasing all that does not belong to you, all the accumulated absorption from the week now moves away from you, out into the nothingness it came from, fading into glittery dust and blown away, letting go, all is ok, you are ok, it’s your time, this is something for you, you know what you need right now, harmony, inner peace, fun and joy, you will, nothing right now to do or prove or be, just that something for you, make sure you do it, you know what you need and you can do it, that’s right, more enjoyment, more progress, more satisfaction, more peace now. And so it is. Enjoy.

September 28, 2023

Generous listening:

Most of us do not naturally listen well and our time tolerance for interpersonal listening is often very minimal. In truth it is easier to listen to certain people compared to others, probably due to how we feel about what they say and how they say it. In close relationships, most people say they’d like to be truly listened to more generously. This means tuning in, without distraction, giving eye contact, nodding, taking in what is said, pausing, acknowledging what was said and perhaps even giving agreement or validation, eg “sounds like you felt X, that must have been challenging, tell me more”. Rather than racing to offer a fix (which is mostly annoying) or responding with “yes well I had that experience too” (which it’s generally not the time for), or rapidly asking too many questions (which shows interest but can feel like interrogation or can be diverting), just being able to let the other be truly heard is a rare gift. Generous listening doesn’t come naturally to most people. As an exercise, when somebody close wants to talk, once they’ve said their first part, respond with “really, tell me more” and continue with similar encouragers. The focus doesn’t have to be 50/50 shared in every conversation. Sometimes it needs to be all about them, sometimes all about you, sometimes back and forth. Practice the generous listening and notice what a gift it can be for the other.

September 27, 2023

Check your language!

Listen carefully to the language you use both inside your mind and out loud when describing your situation or response or emotional state. Many of us have habitual or go-to terms that we use, some of which may be inadvertently worsening our moods or outlooks. Being able to name our responses with the right specific words has an effect on the level of pain we feel. Many people choose over-the-top words or watered-down words, neither of which will help the mind identify and validate effectively. Learning to narrate experience accurately is a key skill in managing both emotions and decisions. Increase your emotional vocabulary and choose the words that reduce inner pain naturally, along with appropriately increasing pleasure when possible!

September 26, 2023

They had the audacity to do that??

Sometimes it’s hard to believe they had the audacity to do what they did. Maybe it was rude, or disrespectful behavior, or crossing a boundary, or asking for something ridiculous or going way over the line. Most of us are left a little dumbstruck when they have the audacity. What were they thinking?? How did they justify that in their own mind?? The truth is, there is a subset of people who make impulsive and emotionally immature decisions in the moment. It could be a one-off bad day type thing, and it could also be a regular occurrence for them. Emotional maturity is a strand of personality development that is separate from intellectual, academic, professional and social strands of development. Audacity comes from a lack of ability to read the play due to a momentary egocentric focus on only the self, and a subsequent lack of empathy for the other person. We can’t really take it personally because it’s an egocentric act. We didn’t really figure in the equation, they just impulsively acted from their needs in that moment. We had nothing to do with it. So their audacity? Not about you. Just about them in that particular moment. Nothing to do with you. Put the focus back on your own kindness and ethics. The audacity will bring its own fruitage, no need to dwell on it. Just remember: it’s not personal, they weren’t even thinking about you. You’re ok.

September 25, 2023

Fuel with optimism:

Fill your mind today with fuel that generates optimism and a sense of possibility. Choose audio optimism fuel from music, a podcast, the sounds of nature, anything that lifts your mind and your ideas. Choose thoughts and actions that fuel your sense of optimism: WHAT thoughts and HOW thoughts, such as “WHAT do I want to feel or achieve”, and “HOW might I quickly start a small chunk of that”. WHO thoughts may help as well, like “WHO would I I like to speak to, or listen to, or see, or think about that might help generate the emotion or action I’m looking for?” Asking these questions keeps us focused on our outcomes and stops us going down unhelpful paths. Fuel your mind with optimistic input and enjoy the results.

September 22, 2023

Forgetting to remember:

You know, and I know too, that sometimes, when you need to really slow down, becoming more and more relaxed, breathing, slower now, that’s right, taking in that relaxing breath, holding it, now letting go, breathing out all build-up and toxic gunk from before, you can, and how important it is for your mind to forget, to simply not remember those things, the things that you can forget, remembering only what you need to remember, and all the other stuff can just drift away, like specks in the air, glittering as they move further and further away now, and all that you can remember is that small amount needed, good things, and feeling better and better as your subconscious mind forgets, and holds only what is useful for you now, it does, and you can relax and be in now. It is.

September 21, 2023

Love note to self:

When is the last time you wrote yourself a love note? Most of our notes to self are about things to do, things to remember, things to not say, things to buy. How about a little appreciative love note that you could stick on your desk, mirror, computer or car dashboard? Or even inside a cupboard so it surprises you every time you open?! The note could say that you are unique, and intelligent, and funny, and resourceful, or that you are awesome and kickass, or kind, ethical and caring, or that you put your all into everything, or that you’ve come so far and have done it all yourself, or that you rock. It’s all true and everyone should have a little love note lying around. Get some post-its and get those love notes happening!

September 20, 2023

A micro start!

It’s time to get a micro start on that thing you’ve been procrastinating on or avoiding! A micro start means doing just a tiny chunk. Just a beginning, or a small chunk of time on it. If it’s a physical thing, do it only very briefly. If it’s a task, reading, writing, doing whatever it is, then just do the first bit. The idea is to remove the enormity of it while also getting some completion, moving away from the “all or nothing” mentality. Commit to doing the small bit today and feel accomplished for achieving your micro start. It’s easier when you chunk down on tasks and you’ll have relief from the stress of avoidance. Go on.

September 19, 2023

You’re the gift!

Many people, perhaps due to early experiences, feel like a bit of a social burden to others, as if they have to be careful not to be too much themselves in case people silently (or publicly) object. Most of the people who worry about this are wonderful, kind, interesting, complex, funny, clever and ethical people who really don’t need to think twice about being generally likeable. If we make sure to listen, if we share ourselves in a way that’s reciprocal, if we have normal ups and downs; that’s all socially fine. It’s usually a self-image installation problem much more than a personality problem. You’re the gift, and most people will enjoy that gift because it’s unique and it’s pleasant. Decide to enjoy being the gift now.

September 18, 2023

All of it is ok!

Our goal isn’t to minimise the so-called unpleasant feelings. In fact, the more we try to avoid fear, anger, sadness, irritation or despair, the more we often build dysfunctional avoidance mechanisms that end up being problems in themselves! Decide now that all emotions are ok; they offer us feedback about our inner responses to people and events. We can learn to observe, acknowledge and validate our responses without falling into a catastrophic thought spiral. We actually can’t suppress those messy emotions without missing the highs. Having the full spectrum of emotion is part of the human experience, and we will all express that differently. Whatever we feel, well, that’s what we need right now. And it will be temporary, moving like the tides. Feeling is being alive. Look at nature in its wildness. And we are part of nature, moving through internal and external seasons and changes. Embrace your inner climate today, whatever it is. It’s all ok.

September 15, 2023

Enlighten:

Slow your mind as you read this here, and you know, by slowing the breath, breathing in, and holding it, then fully letting go now, that’s right, and slowing down the way my words speak to you, slower still, everything begins to harmonise, easing now, calming, clearing space for all kinds of enlightening, perhaps light can fill your mind, you can feel much lighter indeed, an idea can light up your heart, your cells can flow too, with healthy white light, your whole self can just glow with the light of being, and perhaps, if you listen, and then calmly forget, you will receive information on that thing you’ve been trying to figure out, you know, enlightenment comes sometimes when we least expect, bringing the answers and ideas we most need, it will, let the light guide you into wherever you need to be today, easily, relaxed, free and in calm enjoyment.

September 14, 2023

Your life matters.

Have you switched anything off? Turned off your own signals because they weren’t listened to and now you’ve stopped listening too? Well, switch them back on now. Your needs, your desires, your aversions, your preferences, your emotions, your nostalgia, your little ways; it’s all you and your stuff matters. Your life matters. What you want matters. We can’t control it all and we can’t change other people. But we can tune into ourselves via our internal signals and acknowledge or validate how we actually feel. Don’t switch off. It all matters. There’s only one like you and it’s up to you to express the artistry of you.

September 13, 2023

Waiting for ideas?

If you want ideas, possibilities and inspiration, it’s never far away. All we need to do is think about it, deeply, then forget about it. This is a method used by creative people forever. We’ve raised the intention in our subconscious mind, and we’ve explored the territory a little. Then we let it go. It seems that ideas need space, no pressure and a kind of neutral mental gear in order to seed and flourish. Just when you least expect it, in the car, or in the shower, or while walking along in a dream-like stare, the idea or inspiration appears, seemingly from nowhere, but really via the subconscious percolation that’s been going on since you opened up the cognitive possibility. Give yourself plenty of source material via reading, talking, music, podcasts etc, then give it plenty of space. Ideas need a room before they can move in so get your mind into nothing-brain gear when you want an everything-idea!

September 12, 2023

The “overthinking” myth:

It’s on social media, it’s on YouTube and so many people are now using this false term. “Overthinking”. They say “I’m overthinking it” or “I’m an overthinker”. Since I first heard this term I have noted that it is a false and useless concept. If we are thinking good or positive or excited or helpful thoughts then we can think them over and over to our heart’s content. Plus, we can’t just “think less”. Thoughts pop up without us actively generating them. What people really mean when they discuss their “overthinking” is that they are employing an unhelpful or distressing thought process. If we call it what it is, then we can antidote it. Often it is actually distorted catastrophic thoughts, of the “what if” variety. It might be pessimistic, worst case outcome, non-solution focused thinking. Or it is a process called ruminating where people dwell on the things they are scared or upset or angry about. How to exit? We stick to the facts and the evidence, we challenge the automatic unhelpful thought and we make a plan for actual contingencies. For example if we are worrying or stewing about another person, we ask ourselves what our goal is in order to determine action or reframe our narrative. There is always a way out of a thought pattern but it involves identifying the specific thought and solving a problem. Calling it by a new, vague, unhelpful name doesn’t help us address our internal loops. We catch the one thought and/or feeling, describe or identify it then work out if we accept it or need to action it. And we can do that very productively. Lots of thoughts is fine when you know how to manage all those internal conversations.

September 11, 2023

Move at the right speed!

At this time of year, it’s important to check your speed. Are you running in a full tank? Are the demands of life a bit much for your resources? There are many ways to adjust so that you move at a more compatible speed. Sometimes we can lessen the demands, sometimes not. If we can’t change the demands then we need to tinker with the internal environment. We can slow our internal speed. We are more efficient both in fuel use and competence when we slow our breathing, relax our nervous system and focus the mind on just one thing. We can only do one thing properly at any one time, so let’s choose more consciously. Adjust inner speed today and use internal resources wisely.

September 8, 2023

A comfortable essence:

Take a moment to let your eyes focus deeply on my words here, really stare at each word, slowly, as you breathe in a deep relaxation, and holding, and now releasing, letting go of all uncomfortable thoughts and feelings now, all tension dissolves, melting away like a snowball in sunshine, and your mind can easily focus, following my words to you, to all comfortable areas, comfortable in the world, comfortable in mind, comfortable in body now, you are, your mind remembers to stay on comfortable targets, remaining in the zone of warmth and light, getting lighter, and better, and knowing that all is really well, everything is in its place and everything unfolds in its right moment. And so it is.

September 7, 2023

You’re safe.

You’re safe. Every cell in the body and mind needs to know you are safe. All the signals we get, both in thoughts and feelings can bring an “unsafe” alert, but really they are signals for something else, possibly even echoes from the past. Right now, in this moment, you are safe. And this moment is all we need to focus on. Remind your nervous system of its safety today. You’re great. Everything is working out. It’s all ok.

September 6, 2023

More self-care lessons from dogs:

Every day we ought to take a lesson in self-care from the dogs. Dogs are happy to sleep, happy to wake up, happy to see you, happy to see others (maybe not everyone, but that’s discernment!), happy to enjoy whatever food is served, happy to hang with loved ones, happy to be part of family photos if in the mood, happy to get gifts, happy to smell trees and grass, happy to play and happy to stop when tired. Dogs know how to do self-care. When they want out of the action, they leave. When tired, they rest. When they need space, they move to a quiet spot. Show pics of your dog and take a lesson from their self-care philosophy today!

September 5, 2023

Pitfalls of pride:

Pride is something that can help us make the best of things, back ourselves, be confident, make the effort, manage the appearances. Pride is the ego wanting to be seen in a positive way. The flip side of pride is when we get stuck in being right, or wanting to look like we know (when we really don’t know) or refusing to apologise or give in first. There are no life prizes awarded for being stubborn. Even if we think we are right, we must figure out whether we are acting from ethics or wisdom, or whether stubborn pride is motivating us. Stubborn pride is rigid, won’t admit it’s wrong, won’t relent, won’t reach out first, won’t compromise for the sake of relationship. The ego is healthy when led by the wise mind, but an ego led by emotional immaturity becomes a major pitfall. We see it in politics and we see it in families and work and personal relationships. Let’s keep a wise eye on the egos around us and stay away from personal pride pitfalls. The goal is inner and outer harmony.

September 4, 2023

Bright day!

Notice the brightness in everything today. Your own bright mind. The brightness of the day. The brightness involved in all the food you eat, the clever brightness in our technology, the bright ideas that just keep coming to you and to many others. Whatever you want to shine brightly today, set that intention and allow it to light the way. Brightness brings clarity and direction so move with confidence into your day.

September 1, 2023

More inspired:

Take a long deep breathe as you listen to me, inspiring, and holding, then now slowly expiring, as I speak confidently to your inner mind, many kinds of inspiration, being infused with many uplifting feelings, you can, feelings that lift, that power, that drive us forward towards where the soul wants, needs, to go, listening to that inner guidance, the call of the soul, and that guidance takes on a wonderful bright color, a light that fills you and energises you now, a possibility, an idea, a feeling, a direction, all parts of you now unified to follow that inspiration to wherever it might lead, good things for you now, it is, and you can enjoy feeling, and knowing, without ever really needing to fully know, just following that path in a trusting way. Enjoy.

August 31, 2023

Use wisdom.

Most of us favor either our logical minds or our emotional minds. In truth, we get the best information when both parts of the system are working together. When we consider both facts (logical mind) and feelings (emotional mind), we enter what is known as wise mind. The wise mind factors in the truth, the consequences, plus acknowledgment and empathy for all the feelings in the situation. Choose your wise mind to assist with anything required today. Ask yourself “what would wise mind do?” and move forward with a balanced perspective.

August 30, 2023

Inner guidance mechanisms:

The human inner guidance system is always showing us when to move forward and when to move away. We receive signals via inspiration and intuition, and if we go off track, we receive signal thoughts that we can tune into as well as uncomfortable feelings or a drop in energy level. This is inner guidance that we truly need to follow. When our choices line up with our authentic self needs, we feel lighter, energised, focused. If we think about going in a particular direction and our heart sinks, or we feel dread or slight sickness, it may not be a great match for us. Many of us push forward anyway, with internalised expectations or so-called logic. Ignore intuition and other authentic signals at your peril. You have the right to have needs and preferences when it comes to who you spend time with as well as how you spend it. Authenticate your needs and advocate for your inner self. Inner alignment brings inner peace.

August 29, 2023

High sensitivity and invalidation:

One of the most tricky combinations is that of being born with a highly sensitive and perceptive personality into an emotional environment that is critical and/or invalidating. Highly perceptive and sensitive kids need extra help and skills to navigate a confusing world, and if the world at home is also confusing, judgemental or invalidating, this can prime the nervous system for difficulties with emotional regulation. This combination can also drive the nervous system to be more easily triggered (even though it may be hidden or suppressed) and take longer to return to baseline level. High sensitivity and perception is a wonderful thing and generates a rich inner life when the family environment is supportive and nurturing. This is also why sensitive people often need to work on their self-kindness as adults. Please be supportive and approving of yourself today. Acknowledge and respect all emotions, feelings and any wins, small or large. Listen to yourself as you would a small child. It’s never too late to generate inner approval and empowerment.

August 28, 2023

A lucky day!

It’s always a lucky day for lucky people. Remember the research on luck: luck increases due to knowing you’re a lucky person, noticing opportunities, taking opportunities and then feeling lucky for having those positive experiences and opportunities. Everything depends on narrative so use your powers of observation, contrast and reframing to amplify your luck today.

August 25, 2023

Message to your cells:

Listen now, breathing in a deep long breath of relaxation as I speak to you, and I speak directly to all cells in your system, listening carefully with your inner mind, as you breathe, in, holding, and out, every cell releases all buildups, that’s right, the cell cleansing begins, and continues, sustaining you, maintaining you, energy in with every relaxing calm breath, swirling around, sweeping out as needed, exiting all toxins and gunk, leaving only light and clarity in every energised cell, that’s right, every cell lighting up brightly and strongly for you now, renewed and revived, and this will continue, quicker and better over time, its effects will surprise you, pleasantly, as you flow with the rhythm of your day now. Enjoy.

August 24, 2023

Stop secondary emotions!

It’s the secondary emotions that usually upset us. We feel tired (the primary pain in this example), then think anxiety thoughts about why we are tired, and worried thoughts about everything we have to do, leading to overwhelm thoughts about how maybe we can’t do it. Or somebody says something thoughtless, we feel hurt, then add to it with disappointment about them not getting us, and angry thoughts about how they could say that. If we just stick to the first feeling, name it and acknowledge what triggered it without adding building blocks, then our pain is just the primary pain. Name and find the links to only primary feelings today, without judgement, and leave the additional ingredients out. Named pain dissolves much faster without the extras.

August 23, 2023

The feel-good list:

Maybe it’s time to commit the feel-good list to paper. A feel-good list is a list of all the things you can do if you want to improve your mood or energy. Everyone’s feel-good list will differ but might include certain places, people and activities that are engaging and uplifting. It might include certain books, music, art, audio, nature aspects, pets, energising activities and relaxing activities. Collate your list of guaranteed feel-good choices, both big and small, and ensure they are included in plans regularly. The more we feel good, the more we feel good.

August 22, 2023

Breathe in peace.

Pause regularly today to breathe in peace. Take it in all through your system, let it circulate, then breathe it out into the world. Inner peace is the goal and outer peace is the bonus.

August 21, 2023

Generating enthusiasm:

Enthusiasm is a potent ingredient in any recipe for a good day. Even when approaching something we feel unsure of, or maybe even something we fear, we can approach it with enthusiasm. Enthusiasm means being infused with interest, curiosity, and a kind of YES feeling. Enthusiasm means being open to experience in a non-resistant way. Enthusiasm gives us access to mind resources as well as emotional state, perhaps increasing the opportunities we notice and utilise. Decide to cultivate the right dosage of enthusiasm for today and enjoy its benefits immediately.

August 18, 2023

Relaxify:

Imagine, using your inner mind, that there was an app, something your subconscious mind could open within the electronic device of your nervous system, and, breathing in, you could, if you want to, holding, and now letting go, select either sympathetic nervous system or parasympathetic, whatever you need today, that’s right, you select that button, and then there is a dial, and you could turn up that part you need for today, just allowing it to emerge for you, as slowly as you need, or perhaps faster than you expect, and then on the other button, turning down the controls for the stuff you want to feel less of, lowering it to a level of comfort and calm, easily, you can do that now, as you relaxify, in fact, let that be your mantra today, notice the app in your mind’s eye and say RELAXIFY, knowing your subconscious will tap in and adjust those perfect settings automatically. Enjoy.

August 17, 2023

Love radar:

Feel the love. It’s pretty much everywhere. It’s in all parts of nature; the trees, the sky, the animals, sunshine, the flowers, the bees, rain, the grass. It’s in people. It might be misguided at times but most behaviour between people starts at a place of love. Love is a verb, and it’s in every act of care, in worry, in kindness, in compliments, in affection, in gifts, in all attempts at connection. It might not always arrive in our preferred flavour but love is everywhere if our radar is activated. Remain activated today.

August 16, 2023

Fog brain days:

Most people get the fog brain feeling at times. It can be a worry, we rely on our brain so much; we need the memory, the problem-solving, the pattern recognition, the inner language and ability to articulate our thoughts. If we tense up about a fog brain, the resulting stress makes it harder to think clearly. Fog brain means relax, it’s ok, your brain is fine, it just needs time to warm up. Plus, your brain on slower speed is probably more effective than the human average on maximum speed so just lean into it. Be kind to your brain, and be patient, as if it was a child who’s woken up tired and just needs a minute to come around. Take your time with it and trust that all functions are intact. The more we relax, the more the information flows. It’s all in there.

August 15, 2023

You are safe.

Please remind your mind and body: you are safe. Any message of concern sends a signal of lack of safety, creating unease, tension, pain and other unpleasant feelings. While these signals are useful, sometimes a moth sets off a car alarm. Keep reminding yourself that you are safe. It’s just a moth. All is well.

August 14, 2023

Walk with confidence!

Today, consciously choose to walk with confidence, both into and through your day. Head up, eyes forward, shoulders back, moving swiftly and easily, smiling slightly and knowing you are rocking it. The body recognises the physiology of confidence and will help your mind stay on that path too. Put confident thoughts in your mind and strong moves in your body and glide powerfully around today.

August 11, 2023

A spark!

There’s always room, in the many rooms of the mind, and perhaps every cell, for a new spark, so listen carefully to my words, breathing in calm, that’s right, holding it while easing, and breathing out slowly, exiting all the junk build-up, just letting it go now, clearing the system, all mind and cells ready to jump the spark, spark of an idea, sparks begin, the energy builds, the sparks bright and clean, powering you, driving you, comfortably, calmly, and with great confidence, you spark forward into the next possibility, empowering and fulfilling, you are, just clear the path and allow yourself to follow. Enjoy.

August 10, 2023

Get more real:

It’s time to get more real with yourself about what’s going on and what you’re feeling and what you really want. Many of us have internalised so-called societal expectations and try to be “good” or “nice” which may come at a big expense to the self. Nobody has to do a 180 into rudeness or inconsiderate behaviour but really, how many people factor in their feelings, their needs and their self-care before making a decision or proceeding on a course of action? Check in with the many different internal emotions, listen deeply to what you really value and then choose a path that is authentic to you. Being unapologetically yourself is a decent goal so maybe give it a shot every day. Start now.

August 9, 2023

Low energy days:

The low energy days happen due to insomnia, or pain, or illness or chronic stress or weather change, or perhaps unknown reasons. And the demands don’t stop just because the energy supplies are low. What needs to change is self-expectation and self-support. We need to adjust what we demand of ourselves and be really supportive of even minor efforts or achievements. If a child is not right, we expect them to operate below usual expectations. We adults are no different; a low energy day means we need to be very kind to self and very forgiving of self. Please adjust expectations and self-support accordingly today.

August 8, 2023

The priority!

With all the junk and distractions and expectations flying around, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s important. Usually, in any situation, there is one key thing that truly matters. Trying to manage multiple (and often competing) priorities is what leads us into internal conflict and its resulting pain/stress. What’s the one thing that matters most in your case? Focus on that and send the other bits to the back of the line. One priority only.

August 7, 2023

Strength mantra:

Repeat after me: May I be filled with strength now. Whatever kind of strength you need to access today, repeat the mantra then say thanks to your system for powering you. You are strong and you’ve got this.

August 4, 2023

Recharge post:

Plug in to my words here, noticing that perhaps there is a part of you that needs recharge, elements that have been running on low battery and need maximum strength, breathing as you slowly glide, slower now again, that’s right, taking in each breath, holding that energy, then releasing, and as you release you can be aware of all blockages beginning to clear, letting go whilst holding on, you can, freeing yourself from all tension, nothing worries you now, nothing disturbs you, you breathe easily as you recharge with each clearing and energising breath, and you can come back to the recharging post any time you like, it all belongs to you, and it is you, and you can power up and move forward with confidence and ease. Enjoy.

August 3, 2023

Always an answer:

No matter what the situation is, that’s is always an answer, always something to help us understand it, to endure it, maybe even to improve it. We can’t see it when we are tired, and we will not find it or recognise it when we are overwhelmed. First comes rest, diversion, escape. Then new perspective via wise others, in person, in print, in recordings. Be open to new information about stuck matters and know that new possibilities will always appear once we are in an open state. Be ready.

August 2, 2023

Perfect as is.

Made in the factory, no instructions given and yet here you are, unique and perfect. Perfect as is. Just focus on being your authentic self and being pleased with it. Anything extra is a bonus.

August 1, 2023

The imposter worries:

Worries are just anxious feelings posing as rational problems. Worries are the true imposters of the mind. They dress up like reasonable thoughts, sounding like genuine concerns, raining things to be vigilant about. But it’s just a loose thread from a tense nervous system, causing trouble and diverting the mind from its preferred focus. Notice and name any imposters today and refuse to credit them with any authority. Imposters can be politely ignored and overtaken by our preferred focus.

July 31, 2023

Possibility radar:

Here is your chance to program your radar for interesting and exciting possibilities today. The mind automatically keeps track of what’s important, so let’s make sure the programming reflects the possible good moments, points of curiosity, factors of interest and opportunities for excitement. The radar is set, now it’s up to you to notice and appreciate all the information available during the flow of your day. Please be ready and willing to enjoy.

July 28, 2023

Want better recall and memory?

Watch my words carefully now, here, slowing as you listen to my voice, and I can speak to you, directly to your inner mind, listening closely, each word I say can have a unique and interesting imprint, indelible, direct to the deeper mind, all cells listening, remembering what is important, noticing what might be important in the future, or maybe even in the past, it’s all stored in your cloud, all available when needed, forgetting what you need to forget, remembering what you need to remember, you will, all the resources are there, they will be accessed as needed, in due course, slow down, relax, memory doesn’t have to be instantaneous, although it will be quicker than you expect, quickening now, alive and vibrant, only as needed, and most of it isn’t, more important to be here now, you are, and your resource bank is there for you too, on demand, on your command, ready to go. Enjoy.

July 27, 2023

Positive messages:

This is a positive message for you, and you can take the idea and put messages in your pocket, on post it notes, or as reminders to come up on your phone or laptop. You are a reflective and high-growth person. You are learning daily, hourly. You see the depth in life. You connect on important matters. You have a broad perspective. You are a seeker of knowledge. You are curious and resourceful. All your qualities are useful and beneficial. You matter. Keep the positive messages coming and add to my ideas with your own!

July 26, 2023

Self-advocate!

Here is your reminder that you are a great person and that your needs are important. Being a kind person often means thinking constantly about what others need. That’s fine but are your needs getting overlooked? Signs of overlooking our own needs can be seen in mood dips, exhaustion, frustration, irritation, stomach issues, migraines and other chronic pain/physical complaints. It doesn’t mean going around asserting your needs with everyone. It means thinking about it, considering what you want/need/really think and factoring it in for yourself. Many need coaching with this, especially how to do it without conflict or overt methods. Think about your inner self today and self-advocate for its needs. It will help with both inner peace and creative fire.

July 25, 2023

Not all at once!!

We don’t have to change everything all at once, in fact it rarely happens. Many people suddenly realise they are unhappy with parts of their lives and seek the “all or nothing” massive change. It might bring psychological relief to make that decision but it rarely sticks over time. If we want to address change, we start with one aspect and build a plan based on realistic steps. This way we can achieve success that is manageable and sustainable, and this then leads to forward momentum. We go for small bites and we get it done. Take only a small bite today.

July 24, 2023

Brain awakening!

If you ever feel a little sluggish, try waking up your brain. You may need a pattern interrupt via going outside, doing some fast or brief exercise, or putting some stimulating music on, jumping in a cold shower (then later warming it up) or some other slight shock to the system. Cold water is one of the quickest ways to improve and reset brain chemistry but if you’re not up to that (you’re not alone!!) maybe imagine in your mind’s eye, jumping in cold water, shouting, and cheering yourself on, then emerging feeling alive and awake. Repeat the words ALIVE and AWAKE to yourself when needed! Have a bright day today.

July 21, 2023

Letting pressure subside:

If you are one of the many who have been feeling the pressure lately, keep your eyes centred on my words here, as I speak to you now, addressing your inner mind, slowly, that’s right, slowing breathing as you take a relaxing in-breath, and hold it, and now release it all, slowly, allowing all the tension and gunk to exit with every calming out-breath, and I wonder, and it’s good to wonder, if you can feel some part of you beginning to relax even more now, and perhaps another part of you is becoming curious about what I might say, or not say, and that’s ok too, it’s all ok, you are ok, in fact you’re really quite great, no need to prove anything to you or anyone else, nobody’s business, only you, and your happiness, increasing now, we turn down the dial on the pressure, you allow yourself to feel good, you are good, you are a whole and unique person and there is nobody just like you, you can appreciate yourself, you will, and you do it all on your time, in your own way, and you can feel glad, pleased even, without doubt or concern, you let that go, and simply flow with the rhythm of your life, feeling very confident, you are, and you can enjoy that ride today.

July 20, 2023

Slow down, tune in:

Slow it down in there, wherever it’s a bit much or racing too fast, just wind it back. Tune in, like adjusting the radio frequency to the clearest channel, and that channel is you. Tune into body and mind, be open to intuitive messages and any useful other information or golden breadcrumbs to follow. Don’t let the world pull you out of yourself today; stay tuned in to your true authentic self so that you can make the best decisions wisely.

July 19, 2023

Check emotional load:

If your tiredness seems excessive, if your pain seems chronic, if your hormones are all over the place, if dizziness is coming and going, or migraines, or your stomach keeps playing up, check your emotional load. Of course these things sometimes have physical causes that need to be addressed or ruled out, but when physical factors taken care of, we are wise to examine the amount of emotional stuff in the mix. Emotions or stress from the past, from the present and about the future. Family stuff, work stuff, relationship stuff, kid stuff, world stuff, day to day stuff, traumas of all kinds, worries, fears, regrets, frustrations, guilt, internal conflicts, unresolved issues, concerns for health or aging, worry about others, and on the list goes. If you’re a sensitive and empathic person, chances are you carry a lot of emotions in the mix. If there is no space to manage it all, it can often spill to the physical as our nervous system’s way of expressing the pain we are carrying. We all need to notice, normalise, validate and perhaps find a channel to express emotions, even the ones that are “unacceptable” to us. We are not like cars who go to the mechanic and have each part fixed. We have complicated emotional systems that store all the memories and fears and frustrations and everything else on top. Check your emotional load regularly and tune into its messages. By tuning in, the system knows we are “getting it” and things can begin to change for the better over time.

July 18, 2023

Been invalidated?

Many people have experienced emotional invalidation within the family, as well as from friends or partners. It doesn’t feel good. Invalidation happens when you disclose feelings or thoughts or requests and another person denies, dismisses or distorts in response. Denial is about you being wrong in your experience, it isn’t like that, you’ve misinterpreted, it never happened. Dismissal can be via ignoring, changing the subject, implying or saying that you are overreacting or too sensitive or that it’s just nothing, forget it, get over it. Distorting is being told how it *really* was, the story is re-written, the heroes and villains are allocated differently, a new confusing version of events is thrown out there, often with the focus taken totally from your emotions or experience. Invalidation methods like these are often employed when you try to put in a reasonable boundary of some sort and it can be a shock when this is the response. These patterns leave us feeling inner confusion and rage. Depending on personality we respond with stress, anxiety, anger, indulgence or exit. Many people need assistance managing this behaviour when it’s been a long-term issue as it can severely affect identity, relationship patterns and mood. Knowing what pattern is occurring can help us identify what’s going on, manage our emotional regulation and decide on what to do next.

July 17, 2023

Motivation and elevation!

Imagine getting into the lift in the building within your mind and going up up up as far as you need to today. Go up in thoughts, go up in focus, go upwards in optimism. Wherever your beginning point is in energy, motivation and mood today, you can take it up up up a notch or two right here, right now, and let it elevate more as time passes over the day. Now is just the starting point and you can decide that it will improve. It’s going up up up! And it will.

July 14, 2023

Heavy to light:

Perhaps for some reason you have felt the heaviness of something, maybe emotional, maybe physical, or even both, or neither, and either way, you can slow your mind now, focusing here on my words, as I speak to you, breathing in, taking in pure light energy, holding, circulating, and now breathing out, exiting all heavy stuff, from all cells and nerves and synapses, letting go of all those balloons now, they float off quickly into the distance, gone, taking all unneeded material with them, that’s right, you are lightened and lifted, more and more over the day, and you can feel better and better, letting any other balloons leave you as needed, they will, and your heart and mind can raise up, looking up, feeling up, moving forward with optimistic intention. Enjoy.

July 13, 2023

Want more joie de vivre?

Joie de vivre is a French concept that is about that spontaneous feeling of joy or lust for life, that sensation of bliss or excitement in the heart. Many have reported feeling less joie de vivre since the pando, probably because of such a long period of requiring ourselves to modify expectations of day to day life. The ingredients for more joie de vivre include novelty, variety, change of scene, fun, freedom, carefree time, interesting things and openness to merriment of some sort. We can increase joie de vivre via new experiences, different (and enjoyable) people, listening to music, travel, being around laughter and above all, making the decision to increase our passion for life. It’s both an attitude and a behaviour. Please share this with people who boost your lust for life, and make sure you do something that reminds you of the joy of living today!

July 12, 2023

Just listen FFS.

When people are upset or stressed, they don’t want solutions. They don’t want logic. They don’t want fix-it ideas. They don’t want to be told they shouldn’t feel that way. When people are upset they just want to be heard. They want their close/trusted person to be interested in what they are feeling, even if it seems irrational or illogical or excessive. Usually once we feel heard and validated we too can question our response and perhaps problem solve, but don’t skip the listening and validating phase. This is one of the biggest issues in couples, friendships and family misunderstandings and can lead to long-term resentment. It’s ok just to listen and that in itself is rare. Stop. Give full attention. Listen. Wait. Listen more. Then ask what the person needs. It’s not that hard and yet it seems so elusive. Please pass on this message to people that might benefit. Listen well today.

July 11, 2023

Great expectations?

We can have great expectations about stuff within our control. We can expect to enjoy ourselves, to achieve realistic things that we plan, we can expect to solve some problems and for many situations to pass. Realistic is the key word: expectations should be specific, moderate and address aspects within our control. And the only aspects we have control of are our thoughts and our actions. Any action or thought (or emotions actually) relating to another person, well, that’s not within our circle of control. Remember that all we can do is change our own thoughts and actions. It may have the influence we want in relation to others, or it may not. We manage expectations accordingly. Stay balanced in mind today.

July 10, 2023

New and exciting:

It’s a new day and with it brings possibility, novelty and enjoyment. You get to set the scene for today; no matter what the circumstances or challenges, it’s new, it’s different, and there are things to appreciate and feel good about. Set the radar for how you want to think and feel about the day, and go in confidently with your own useful intentions. Enjoy.

July 7, 2023

Mood lift up:

Tune into my words here, slowing your eyes deliberately, as your mind slows too, just for a minute, as I talk directly to you here, and your inner mind can listen, deeply, deeper again, that’s right, breathing, in, holding, and now releasing, easy, comfortable, safely with each breath, you are ok right here, and in your deep inner mind, many processes are occurring, independent of your need to do anything at all, just automatic updates very regularly, installing improvements, we are, the latest is now ready, for your mood lift, a shiny energising icon, we press yes now, and your mood lift installation begins right away, moving through the system at its own pace, lifting, improving, integrating, and you will feel better and better over time, noticing slight lifts now, and simply allowing all to upgrade perfectly. Enjoy.

July 6, 2023

Choose a great soundtrack!

No matter what you’re feeling, or what you would prefer to feel, there’s a music soundtrack that could help. The soundtrack is chosen by you, from streaming, CD, vinyl, music videos, whatever your preference. You’ll know it when you hear it because you’ll feel it. When it’s the right sound track it elevates us to exactly what we want to feel. Choose your soundtrack consciously; do you need loud, angry, passionate, or chill, melodic, delicate?? Mood both dictates and is impacted by music. Get your soundtrack ready today and take your emotions where you’d like them. Enjoy.

July 5, 2023

Check your fuel tank!

Life has a way of emptying our tank at times. Whether it’s stress, chronic exhaustion, insomnia, pain, illness, outside drama, weather change or just the craziness of life, it can drain the tank without us realising. When our tank is low, we need to adjust our expectations of ourselves. If we’re running at 50% capacity then we need to manage ourselves carefully, with compassion, acceptance and adjustment to inner dialogue. Refined inner demands are appropriate when there is reduced resources. Check your tank daily, and modify your inner self-demands (and more importantly, your inner commentary) accordingly.

July 4, 2023

Move away from the SHOULDS!

Shoulding is a bad habit. Shoulding on ourselves about what we’re supposed to do or be only leads to guilt and frustration and feeling down on ourselves. “I should exercise more”, “I should be further ahead with whatever” etc is not a recipe for motivation or moving forward. Shoulding on others leads to judgement and expectations that may not be met, leading to further disappointment and frustration. “They should have contacted me”. “They should do more”. No “should” will change what they did or didn’t do. There is no should. Turn it into a COULD. Or let that expectation drop entirely. Our expectations of ourselves and others are our key cause of unhappiness and frustration. Check the miserable shoulds today and focus on moving away from unacceptable situations while accepting the good stuff with appreciation.

July 3, 2023

The day awaits!

May you be filled with optimism and positive expectancy for today. Anything unpleasant is temporary and restricted to its own compartment, and the good stuff is vast and expansive. Be open in heart and in mind today and notice all the micro joys. Much good awaits you.

June 30, 2023

Recalibrate:

If anything has been a little off, just not quite right, or maybe not at all right, then go into my words now, listening deeply with your inner mind as I speak, directly to you, as you breathe in slowly, and hold, and now exhale my friend, breathing out all blockages and gunk, as we begin the recalibration of your system, moving towards your best blueprint now, on the in-breath sending instructions to all cells and inner parts, holding, and now breathing out while all cells and inner parts perfectly recalibrate themselves for you, it’s automatic, you need do nothing, it all happens for you, for your benefit, everything streamlined and cleansed and perfected, it is, and you can move back into the flow of your day with ease, knowing that little by little, it all flows better and better. Enjoy.

June 29, 2023

Free the badass self!

Are you playing it too safe somewhere in life? Do you need to kick in with some rebel spirit and do what you need to do with a bit more abandon? Remember your badass self is waiting to get out there and do what needs to be done. It’s your life. It’s your choice. Be kind, be ethical, be powerful and be badass. Just think from your badass mind and do the thing you know you need to do!

June 28, 2023

Peace guide:

When making any tricky decision, factor in your own inner peace. Most of us strive for peace but often think of it in terms of minimising impact on others. That’s fine but inner peace is what brings true peace. Many of us sacrifice inner peace to keep outer peace. Let’s try for an effective balance of both so that we generate more calm states inside. May everything align nicely today.

June 27, 2023

Flow brain:

Please remind your brain to go into flow state today. Just flow with the rhythm of your life with less commentary and more peace. You can add a dash of enjoyment if you like. Flow well.

June 26, 2023

Praise you:

Most people don’t get enough praise or appreciation. Let’s not wait. Today is the day to start giving a little more praise to yourself. Everything you do, give yourself praise, compliments and appreciation. Give some to others too but focus on you first. You’re great and it’s time to acknowledge it a bit more! Start now.

June 23, 2023

Mind emptying:

There has been much going on lately, and maybe your mind needs a clean, an emptying of unneeded material, so breathe now, slowing, that’s right, breathing in, and holding, now breathing out, releasing all that build-up of stuff, feeling the excess leave your body and mind with every relaxing out-breath, softening every muscle, talking calmly to all your cells, relaxing and energising all parts, sweeping the mind clean until it gently shines, brighter and clearer now, more space, much more peace for you, easily and comfortably just doing what you need to do, mind resting while it can, only doing what is truly necessary, that’s right, you can return happily to your day now, knowing your mind is prepared and upgraded. Enjoy.

June 22, 2023

Demands and entitlement:

A theme of the week is around people discussing their observations about demanding entitled people, as well as the upset they can generate. Demanding entitled behavior tends to be rude, perhaps arrogant, and usually boundary-violating. Entitled people take little notice of societal (and sometimes legal) rules or unspoken agreements and see things from their own perspective only. Often they present as an accusing angry victim when their demands are not met. This behaviour reflects emotional immaturity as well as a lack of self-awareness. Have you noticed or been affected by it too? It can happen in the workplace, on the roads, or with friends, even certain family members. It often generates rage when we’re on the receiving end, due to its unfairness and WTF element. It’s out there. It is what it is. It isn’t personal, it’s just what a small percentage of people do, kind of like an extreme adult tantrum. We can observe, notice if our rage fires up and let it dissipate as we de-personalise it. It reflects only on the person behaving this way, whether they know it or not. We release the energy back to the nothingness it came from and stick to our own code of ethics. Stay in our lane and focus on the other people that matter to us. Let’s be part of the good energy out there today and let the other stuff drift away easily.

June 21, 2023

Empty?

Many people are currently reporting feeling the empty fuel tank sensation. There are many pressures on us, physical, emotional, relational, personal and professional, and the chronic feeling of overload can take its toll in many ways. This includes exhaustion, fatigue, pain flare-ups, hormone disturbance, anxiety, OCD episodes, substance misuse, irritation, emotional outbursts and despair. These phases can lead to feeling like we are hanging by a thread, caught in the mouse wheel of survival mode. If you’re in the empty fuel tank zone, hang in, you’re not alone. Be accepting of where things are now, knowing they will change in some way; these phases are difficult and temporary and we can maintain optimism by zen. Zen optimism is moment by moment. Chop wood, carry water. Just do each thing as it presents itself and make that the focus. The mind needs discipline in survival mode: eyes on the task in the moment, not yesterday or tomorrow. Get in zen and know that the small steps you take will lead you to better places and good feelings too. May you be powered with strength and inner peace.

June 20, 2023

The outline feeds the script:

Before the creative process of the movie, even before the script, we need the outline. The outline gives the general idea and direction of the narrative. This applies to managing our minds as well. If we want to have an enjoyable experience, we need create a useful narrative in a general outline form. For example “I’m going to approach today with a positive attitude and be friendly and open to people and events”. Next comes the inner script. A few key lines can help us stay in mode, such as “This is fine”, “I’m lucky”, “I’m doing well”, “It is what it is”, “I keep noticing the good stuff”, “Eyes on the optimism” and whatever else drives your positive outlook. If you get lost in the script, go back to the outline, or your general intention. Always keep eyes on where you want to be. You’ve got this.

June 19, 2023

Energy transmitters:

There are people and places and songs and books that naturally uplift our energy and optimism. People can be instant good-energy transmitters, and when we have a person in our lives who generates optimism by their very presence and attitude, we benefit immediately. Think about the people and places and music and art that immediately uplift your wellbeing. Feel free to tag your optimism-transmitter people or name your places/things that immediately bring joy. Even thinking about them brings the vibe. Keep your focus on the uplifters today!

June 16, 2023

Stop now.

Stop right now and slow right down, in your inner mind, as you read my important words, breathing in lightness, holding it, now slowly let it go, that’s right, allowing yourself to dissolve into a soft version, inner mind like a laser on my words as I tell you, easily, comfortably, that you are enough, you did enough, and now, whatever it is, you can let it go, let it slip from your mind, remembering to forget what is no longer needed, any stress or pressure, gone, dissolved into the nothingness it came from, so you can just be present in your day now, enjoying what’s enjoyable, ignoring any other bits that need to be ignored, remembering what matters, forgetting the irrelevant, noticing the moments of joy and beauty, you will, everything improving, it does, and you’ve done enough, so you can just cruise and take it in. Enjoy your trip.

June 15, 2023

Vigilance and fatigue:

It’s tiring to be vigilant. Vigilance keeps our nervous system on high alert which, over timed drains both the mind and body via tension and overload. Some people are vigilant over themselves; the key question is “Am I safe??” After stress or trauma or unpredictability, vigilance is an inbuilt survival mechanism designed for our safety but many of us don’t have the off-switch. If we were raised around unpredictable or volatile family, we learn to be vigilant about everyone else “being ok”, which leads to constant subconscious checking and perhaps accomodation of their needs in order to peace-keep. This is exhausting and can become a life pattern for some. It can also lead to subconscious choices of friends or partners whose needs must come first. Reassuring the subconscious mind that we are safe and to turn off vigilance is a possibility, as long as the threat to safety is really over. If you’re safe today, let your inner mind know. Safety means inner peace. You can relax and be off-duty now.

June 14, 2023

Beware of pessimism triggers:

Pessimism triggers can quickly take us out of our good mood and have us seeing our world through a murky lens. While we all have our own unique pessimism triggers, there are some common triggers that many of us share. Being tired, being ill, overwhelmed, being chronically exhausted, feeling under excess pressure, being cognitively overloaded with too much going on in the mind: these can all be pessimism triggers. Feeling criticised or rejected or disrespected by others can also be a pessimism trigger. It becomes a pessimism trigger by changing our thoughts and feelings about ourselves, the world and maybe the future. It’s as though that trigger colours our view without us realising- so we need to be on guard when in those vulnerable phases. If the triggers are there, we try to keep them contained and remind ourselves of the temporary state of tiredness/illness/overwhelm etc and conscious remember what’s good and important in our life. The good things are permanent and broad-ranging, and the other stuff is about temporary and specific states of being. Keep the reins on any runaway thoughts today and notice your triggers before they take over the narrative. It’s ok and you’re ok.

June 13, 2023

Unexpectedly good!

Whatever you’re feeling, it may unexpectedly take a turn for the better, just when you least predict it. Everything is temporary, even when it feels intractable. Better things are always just around the corner so at some point soon, you’ll get that unexpectedly good moment. Remember to notice and enjoy.

June 9, 2023

Get your motor running??

It’s time now, as you read this, slowly, breathing, taking in that perfect potent oxygen, to activate that part of your system that needs activation, the motor that drives whatever it is that needs to be driven now, for you, that thing that will improve how you feel, dissolving any tension or worries as it does, powering up the system as needed, comfortably, safely, wisely, driving you forward, or still, or wherever you need to be right now, with the knowledge that things are looking up, you’ve taken first steps, your inner mind is on board, and you can do this. Go.

June 8, 2023

You are welcome.

You are welcome in the world today. You bring good things, unique gifts and knowledge and your own energy blueprint that nobody else can ever replace. You matter to a lot of people, more than you know. Welcome all experiences and people into your day and know that the world welcomes and appreciates you, not for your doing, but just for your presence. Showing up is enough. Welcome.

June 7, 2023

Notice your progress!

Many of us have annoying perfection tendencies which means we often notice the stuff that needs to improve and probably gloss right over all the small bits of progress. We get more calm and contentment if we always have small steps in mind, and then make a real effort to notice the progress in the small steps. Many small wins lead to a big win and we can get many good feelings along the way by being a small-step operator. Consciously choose to map your little wins today, no matter how tiny. Sometimes just waking up or moving about is a win. Just keeping going can be a win. Doing better than yesterday is a win. They all count and they all help us build self-confidence. You’ve got this.

June 6, 2023

Drama buy-in:

It doesn’t take much to get the nervous system all revved up into vigilant mode. “Guess what, have you heard, did you know, that person over there, they..”. From an evolutionary point of view, gossip was probably necessary to provide safety and connection. But our circle of safety has changed and most of this will now quickly lead to drama. We can respond openly and politely while internally letting it run off our system and back out where it belongs. Buying into other people’s drama often leads to unnecessary anger or stress in the system, and perhaps trouble in the connections. Let’s all stop buying into drama, stay in our lanes, be kind, be ethical , live and let live.

June 5, 2023

Breathe and move forward.

We don’t always have to excel or change things or focus on achievement. Perhaps it’s a day to just breathe and move forward slowly. You are in the driver’s seat, so you manage the journey and the pace. No pressure. Just go forward with inner calm today.

June 2, 2023

Vibe Booster:

Focus your eyes on my words, letting them drift, seeing between all the letters, and the ideas, good ideas as I speak to you now, and you can slowly breathe, in, holding, then out, releasing all the build up from lately, or long ago, any time is fine, breathing out all unwanted material, all unnecessary heaviness, as we tune into your vibe now, noticing its color, its shape, and easily allowing it to morph if needed, slowly transforming into positive, into energised, into free, into joyful, into active, into the bouncy vibe of happiness, your good vibe moves and improves, powering you and bringing you happily to wherever you need to be. Go well.

June 1, 2023

Micro-Joys

It’s great when we get a big hit of euphoria, something new, something huge, a mega-excitement. We love those. But the real good comes from the micro-joys that we feel over every day, especially if we stop to notice and enjoy. Enjoy really means to embody the joy, to be present for it. It may be a cup of tea, seeing your person or your pet, or a hit of music, or a hint of nature and its beauty. Could be a small achievement that feels big, or a moment of laughter or connection. The micro-joy is what fuels contentment and good moods over time. Cultivate and enjoy the micro-joys today and let them boost all parts of the system.

May 30, 2023

The Pet Joy Perspective:

Our pets wake up pleased to be in the new day. They give us love in their own special, unique way and happily receive love in the way we choose to show it. They get playful at times, for no good reason, get excited for their food, and their walks, and their excursions and their visitors. They love their gifts and they love us just because. They love to go suck if somebody walks past, a chance to use their voice. They enjoy the casual routine of the day and don’t complain as long as basic needs are met. Pets live in the moment and they just do what they do, fully themselves. They bring so much joy to us and to strangers out and about in the world. Our pets (and the pets of other people) don’t ask too much of life and yet they receive everything. Today is dedicated to the pet joy everywhere.

May 29, 2023

If you were full of optimism:

If you were full of optimism right now, what would you think, what would you say, what would you do? Remember, optimism isn’t about fake positivity. It’s using a factual narrative to see any so-called negatives as temporary, keep them in perspective and know that it’s not your fault. And it’s about factually taking credit for good stuff, knowing that the good lasts, and extends into multiple areas of life. Choose to think and act via the energy of optimism today and watch everything go well for you because no matter what, your interpretation will be uplifting.

May 26, 2023

Easing off pressure:

You know, and I know too, that we humans can be quite hard on ourselves, a little to critical perhaps, so listen now, as I speak to your inner mind, slow long breath in, now hold it, and exhale my friend, breathing out all that pressure, all that useless comparison, wherever you think you ought to be, letting go, all those silly shoulds and shouldn’ts, all the unneeded rubbish that we pile on ourselves, time for the removal truck to pull up, and to take all that outdated junk away from you now, that’s right, letting all the old stuff go, breathing in light, holding, breathing out all tension, letting go, the pressure begins to dissolve, just do your thing, take no thought, just do you, you are enough and more. Move kindly towards yourself today.

May 25, 2023

Remember to disconnect.

Remember how it used to be? We could work, or walk, or eat, or talk, or watch TV or drive our car with no interruption from a phone. Ever (maybe a landline once in a while but we could ignore it or let it go to the answering machine!). No texts, no calls, no emails, no vigilance during whatever we were doing. Our phones are great, we have everything at our fingertips. And for this reason our phones are also terrible. Our minds don’t get to wonder, or wander, they google or they text and ask and check. Being tied to the device is draining our attention and our ability to roam freely. Remember to disconnect every day. We don’t need constant monitoring and we do need a brain break.

May 24, 2023

If you’re feeling lost?

If you feel lost, start by knowing that there is a path and that it will reveal itself. Sometimes we focus so hard on how awful it feels to be uncertain, leaving no space for the pathway or solution to present itself. When we’re unsure, we’ve already thought about it, deeply, and lots. Now we need to forget about it and wait calmly. When we empty the frustration, the golden breadcrumbs will have a chance to appear. Could be in song lyrics that you hear, a book you see, a dream, an overheard snippet, a social media post or something somebody says; the breadcrumbs will come. It’s your job to notice them and go in the direction that strikes the right note inside. It always comes. Lost states are temporary and often necessary as a phase of progress towards something better. Notice the golden breadcrumbs today.

May 23, 2023

Confidence fact:

Confidence is a choice, not a feeling. Confidence is about choosing to hold yourself in high regard in spite of, and maybe even because of any mistakes or imperfections or gaps in life. Humans are imperfect, life is imperfect and adulthood means accepting this fact without the magical thinking of humans and life being all rosy all the time. Sh*t happens and sometimes it’s our doing, other times it’s life or other people. And we can choose to hold ourselves in high regard despite f*ckups. The mantra for today could be “I will choose to hold myself in high regard even when I screw up (and I will, I’m human)”. Please have a high-regard day.

May 22, 2023

Action and motivation!

Action creates motivation. There’s no point waiting for motivation to strike, usually it doesn’t appear out of nowhere. We create motivation via momentum, we start doing the thing that needs to be done, just a little bit of it, even for five minutes. We keep a positive voice in our minds and we start. When we’ve done a little bit we say “this is good!” and maybe we just keep going. Motivation starts from the doing, and the reward chemicals kick in when we earn them. Don’t wait for the feeling, do the doing and get that momentum today!

May 19, 2023

Dissolve aggravations:

Slow now, breathing in calm as you listen, remembering that we are part of nature, as still as the trees and as vast as the skies, our needs are provided for, all in perfect order, just as the sun and moon rise and set, so too do circumstances come and go, and you know, and I know too, that there can be a little aggravating residue at times, and that like nature, we can let the breeze take care of anything that needs blowing away, just let the breeze take it all now, breathing in, calm, and out, slowing, knowing the breeze clears all, trusting that nature is in order and that all is well. Enjoy the moments of inner peace and order today.

May 18, 2023

Boundaries and reactions:

It sucks to have to set a boundary with somebody (usually a family member) about contact or behaviour. If we have to put limits on the relationship it’s generally because that person wants something we don’t want, or behaves in ways that are quite unacceptable. Most of us are reasonable people, so if we have to set those internal rules for our own emotional or physical safety, then there’s a damn good reason. The trouble is, due to that other person who doesn’t read the play, we have to act in a way they won’t like and probably won’t respect, and in addition, we don’t like having to be the person who draws the line, especially if others don’t. In truth, people don’t usually get thanked for setting boundaries. In fact, many get disapproval and criticism or further acting out because the person didn’t get their way and is used to using rude or controlling behaviour (or silence) to meet their own needs. It’s tough. We want that relationship or connection but it is full of hurdles. Boundary setting is tricky and can be done overtly or more silently. Family boundaries are the hardest and often the work of a lifetime. Please do not judge yourself for finding it difficult or upsetting, and get coaching from a trusted person if required. Don’t be fooled though, if you’re needing to set boundaries then there is a good reason. Stay in your reality, be empowered and be consistent. Be respectful of your own human needs. You matter, and you can do this.

May 17, 2023

Recognition and respect:

Most of the relationship arguments we have are about recognition and respect. When we don’t enjoy being around a person, it’s usually to do with recognition and respect. If we have interpersonal issues at work it’s usually about recognition and respect. When we doubt ourselves and let another person’s viewpoint become “the truth” then it’s about lack of self-recognition and respect. These two are important. We need to be seen, heard and validated and it needs to be reciprocal. Don’t be talked out of that or talk your self out of it. You matter too. There are many ways of choosing recognition and respect and they don’t involve fighting or escalating. Stay with conscious, balanced self-recognition and self-respect today.

May 16, 2023

Decide to forgive yourself!

No giving yourself a hard time today. Whatever you think you haven’t done enough of, or could have done differently or screwed up completely, decide to forgive yourself. It’s complicated, you are ethical and kind, and sometimes our intentions or actions don’t go to plan. It’s ok. Forgive yourself like you would if you knew it wasn’t your fault and it was all ok anyway. Guilt is wasted and pointless (unless ethics or integrity are involved) so let it go and know that you’re enough, and better than good. Enjoy being you instead.

May 15, 2023

Autonomy and freedom!

You get to make the choices today. What will you think about? What’s important and invites your attention? What will you do and not do? And with what mindset will you approach it? While there are some givens and have-to aspects of life for everyone, there is also autonomy and freedom of choice. Be enthused and be conscious when deciding today. You will be great!

May 12, 2023

Micro-dosing happiness:

It’s perfectly ok to feel, now as you breathe slowly, just feel whatever you feel, perfectly fine, listening to me here, with everything going on, a lot to process, things to do, they get done, all in good time, but slower now, listening to my voice with your deeper self, as I remind your inner mind to micro-dose regularly with happiness, just by a thought, a pleasant thought, or an observation in nature, the sky perhaps, or trees, some music, a beloved pet, enjoying the look of something you love, appreciating a good person, enthusing about art, or tea, or the art of tea, you know, and I know too, that a micro-dose of happiness can be found and taken anywhere, all day and all night, imbibing joy regularly, and integrating as you go about your day. Start now.

May 11, 2023

No rush!!

Research shows us that everything in the world has sped up radically within the last ten years. Thanks to fast internet, streaming and smart devices, information is racing at us faster than we could ever consume it. People feel under pressure to do more, achieve more, earn more, provide more for their family. Many also say they are too busy, too overwhelmed and feeling somehow left behind. We truly can slow down. It takes conscious choice to stop rushing everything and modify the perfectionism. And we can make small efforts. Hurry and worry are close companions so take slower steps, slow your thoughts by speaking in a warm slow inner voice to slow the internal rush. It’s all ok. It all works out. There’s no rush for anything.

May 10, 2023

Dose of peace:

Both body and mind need a regular dose of peace. Peace from noise, peace from worried, peace from responsibilities, peace from interruptions. We meditate to increase our inner peace once we’ve found a method that works for us. We can just sit silently at home or in the car, or on a walk. We don’t have to fill our minds with incoming. Even saying the word PEACE as we breathe in and out is helpful. Take a regular dose of peace today.

May 9, 2023

Device distraction:

If we need full access to our IQ, then we need to reduce interruptions and distractions, especially via phone or device notifications, texts and emails. Research shows that it’s not only the time spent noticing or reading texts/emails that we lose, but also that our brain takes more time than expected to shift gears and refocus on whatever we were doing before. Researchers have found this to be the equivalent of a ten point IQ drop, resulting in reduced task performance. They also noted that the effect was similar to being drunk while doing a task. As humans we way over-estimate our ability to juggle tasks or “multi task” as we erroneously call it. Apparently we’re fooling ourselves, draining our cognitive resources and doing the tasks badly due to distraction or interruptions. Turn notifications off and reduce text/email disturbance by putting phones away. Devices have led to us being more addicted, distracted and tired. If we want energy or creativity, devices are not the answer. Go for reduced screen time today.

May 8, 2023

Uplifting words:

Take note of the words you use today, both in mind and out loud. Choose positive, enthusiastic and uplifting language if you’d like to energise. Steer away from any downer language; be as factual as needed of course, but avoid any embellishing or catastrophic inner talk if you want to stay in optimism. Language both reflects and transmits mood. We can consciously change our internal language to feel differently and resonate differently when talking with others. Notice the language that makes you feel good (including swearing, which has positive effects for those who want to swear!) and use those words consciously to boost you today.

May 5, 2023

Trust the process:

Breathe now, as you read this, slowing your eyes, that’s right, as you allow the presence of all the stuff you need to let go of, breathing in, holding, now breathe out my friend, letting go, allowing your inner mind to remember that it all works out, looking back, things worked out well too, usually better than we expected, all things in order when we trust the process, no need to hold on, don’t have to control the sun or the moon, just let nature fulfil its order and pattern, you too as part of nature, trusting the process, the trees don’t worry or grasp, they simply allow for the seasons and the changes and the colourful growth, that’s it, all is well, trust the process, move forward and breathe. All is well.

May 4, 2023

Taken for granted?

None of us likes feeling taken for granted. To feel that our gestures or actions are unnoticed, unappreciated or expected feels invalidating and disrespectful. Often it’s due to the other person being oblivious; just not voicing or acknowledging the benefit they received. This pattern is damaging to all kinds of relationships and can breed resentment if not kept in check. Be conscious of showing appreciation to those people in your life whenever you can. A simple THANK YOU and/or a compliment goes a long way. Give it to yourself while you’re at it. And thanks for reading this, I appreciate your presence and engagement!

May 3, 2023

Follow the passion crumbs!

If we want more good feelings or excitement in life then we need to start with a decent foundation of physical stability. We need more rest, even rest for the mind. And then, we follow the excitement or passion breadcrumbs. What’s interesting? What looks fun? What did we used to enjoy that we could re-engage with? We don’t have to know the answers, it’s more about being on the look-out for the stuff that gives us juice. Keep an eye out today!

May 2, 2023

A dash of enthusiasm:

Turns out that one of the key ingredients to a more enjoyable life is adding a dash of enthusiasm to things. Some people do it naturally; the “enthusiast” tends to find something in life to get interested and excited about, even if they don’t express it externally. Others need deliberate, conscious focus to enhance enthusiasm. Enthusiasm means we move towards things with a positive vibe (perhaps not all things, just the stuff that matters to us) but it also means that we have the ability to internally generate some enthusiasm for unwanted things if life requires. It’s a way of saying YES to life rather than moving away and hiding in an emotional bubble. We can set enthusiasm reminders on post its or on our phones. Add a deliberate dash of enthusiasm to your day and enjoy the benefits.

May 1, 2023

Optimise!

With an optimistic approach to the day, our inner mechanisms will improve. If we decide we are going to optimise, it means changing our focus and our inner narrative about whatever is going on. We don’t have to do toxic positivity; it might be that we focus on our strengths and resources and choose an inner narrative that says “I’ve got this, I can get through”. Or it might mean maintaining a focus of neutrality in the face of difficulty. Whatever it is, optimise your inner processes so that you move more easily through whatever it is. Don’t double the struggle with “what ifs” or catastrophic predictions. Go slow, go easy, go well. And you’ve got this.

April 28, 2023

Energy and Focus:

Of course you know, and I know too, that we feel our best when we have optimal energy and focus, we can do anything then, so listen now, with the part of your inner mind that knows, and relaxes, and hears, and adjusts, that’s right, it will, breathing slowly, easily, energy with every in breath, now hold it, focusing, and breathing out all tension, discomfort, worry and inner noise, just letting go, leave it all to perfect inner guidance, the compass will direct you, energy up, focus sharp, laser beam towards where you’re going and be on your way. Enjoy.

April 27, 2023

Not a competition.

Where do you need to back off on the self-pressure and remember that none of this is a competition? We just need to chill, go about our business and be guided by ethics, kindness and enjoyment. Social media can breed an inbuilt competition mentality so beware, as can any other social comparison patterns. Stay in your own lane and do it for you. You’re already enough.

April 26, 2023

Check out the sky-cast!

Forget the bad news cycle for a minute (or preferably longer) and check out the sky! The sky changes all the time, always nature’s cool art show in one form or another, day and night, in any location. Check the colours, textures, patterns, vibes and your own visceral reaction. Turning regularly to the sky-cast helps with re-establishing perspective and focusing on what really matters, truth and beauty. Check your sky-cast often today.

April 25, 2023

Peace to you.

Focus on inner peace today, and hold the peace within you. Breathe in peace, breathe out peace and choose peace. From a place of peace we can access everything.

April 24, 2023

Just roll with it.

Whatever today is, you’ve got what it takes so there’s no pressure. Just roll with it, ride the tailwind, go with that flow. You have nothing to prove and no real effort is required; just let your gifts and talents work the magic, do your thing and roll with it. It’s gonna be great.

April 21, 2023

Guilt-free trip:

Hold your eyes right here, right on my words, riding the words as I speak to you, here, and remind you that it’s time to take a guilt-free trip, very relaxed, guilt is such a funny thing, a mix of fears, not enough, good enough, unsure, who knows really, and we don’t know, not at all, so we can just relax now, letting all muscles soften, everything is as it should be, the clouds are in order, the sun rises and sets, the birds do their thing then stop, they don’t question it, or feel anything bad about themselves at all, nature has it all sorted, and so too with us, a part of nature, just doing what nature intended, that’s right, no need to judge it right or wrong or good or bad, it just is, it’s kind, it’s ethical and it’s ok, so release all guilt now, be one with nature, just do no harm, do your thing, and feel perfectly fine, you are. Go smoothly today.

April 20, 2023

Worried? Just send love.

When you’re worried about somebody and you can’t really do anything, just send love. Sometimes there are practical things we can do when we worry about somebody, but if not, you send them love. You can imagine love as a golden light, or a pink mist, or a burst of energy or however else it appears to you. Worry is inevitable at times but isn’t actually productive, whereas sending love will help you stay in giving mode. Humans are both givers and receivers of energy via our inner antennae so maybe the love you send will help; either way it helps you stay in power and out of fear. Send love to the person you know might need it today.

April 19, 2023

Right on track!!

Despite any concerns, you’ve got to know that you are actually right on track. You are moving in the right direction, forward, towards more inner peace, more fun, more satisfaction, more fulfilment. Many people wait to feel happy or content, but that’s often a temporary state before we hit the next challenge. There’s a calmness in knowing we are right on track so remind yourself regularly today and feel the focus and power that comes from that knowing. Get on track, stay on track and feel pleased with yourself for choosing well.

April 18, 2023

The initial enthusiasm phase:

Many people report feeling motivated for a while towards a new habit, then losing interest. In the initial excitement phase of a new thing, we are open, curious, accepting, forgiving and focused on our enjoyment. This newness effect is a psychological and physiological cocktail of optimism, high energy, positive expectancy, high dopamine (excitement/interest chemistry) and goodwill. Which elements of the excitement phase do you need to consciously generate today to change or improve your perception of a current habit or behaviour? Or perhaps even towards a person or situation? We can choose to get excited by changing our inner story and language. Don’t do the blah or the ho-hum. Decide to make your moves with excitement and possibility-mindset today!